BINGO!

Today, twice in one day, I got very good news.
I certainly wasn't on pins and needles to hear this particular news, maybe that's why it was such a lift.

One: Our insurance made good on their portion of our ER Dr. bill. Alleviating our outstanding debt of $300. Nice. This amount has been under deliberation for 9 months now and I am quite relieved to be on the winning end of that deal.

Two: The crusty, barely adequate dishwasher that we inherited when we bought our house was recalled. As long as that dishwasher worked, I knew I would never get another one. Mostly because dishwashers aren't really a necessity, but a luxury - so I de-scaled it, and kept using it, secretly hoping it would get secretly replaced with secret extra money. Yeah right!
Today in the mail, we received notice that it has been deemed a fire hazard - Go figure!
We will receive a check in the mail to compensate us toward the purchase of a new dishwasher!!
I went to our local scratch and dent appliance place with my mom today and found one that will neither set our house on fire, nor growl and churn for hours while cleaning the dishes. Sara_smiles' daddy owns that store and you should go there first if you ever find yourself needing a new appliance - he will hook you up!

How Lucky are we?

I sit here watching my two breath-takingly beautiful babies in the bathtub.
It's not every night that they get to have bubbles in the bathtub. Sometimes we run out, others I just overlook it as I hurriedly rush through the nighttime ritual.

The kids smiled as I swashed the water this way and that to maximize the bubble-making potential and talked about how great the bubbles smelled.
They started to give themselves bubble beards, outrageous bubble hair-dos, and so on.
Then I washed their hair and they giggled as I accidentally tickled them while rinsing their shampoo out.

After that, they began to play with one another and their bath toys. Happily, without bickering - a notable rarity in our home right now.

I guess I was feeling a little hogwild and I brought their toothbrushes to the bathtub, with paste and all and handed them their toothbrush. We usually do that at the sink after bathtime. Yes, I know. I'm totally living on the edge...

Jaron looked at Avery and said, "How lucky are we?"

Indeed.

I am so looking forward to nibbling on their "raisin" fingers and toes after they get out.
Ooooo and smelling their soft, freshly bathed baby smell while trying to ignore their obvious knobby knees and bumpy backs that would beg to differ with my previous 'baby' description. Combing Avery's curls and rubbing them down with lotion. Praying and singing and reading books during this, our last week of summer.

How lucky are we?

Very, very lucky.

God's Big Backyard.

I was finally given the keys to a classroom today!!
A classroom that is not really mine, but will serve as a meeting place for me and my students during this school year, either until the new kids' pastor asks me to leave or the committees decide to remodel it. Hopefully neither of these two scenarios will play out before the end of the school year.

It is called God's Big Backyard.
I mustered up the gumption to go inside today and began the long, arduous process of removing all the unnecessary objects from the room.
Did you know that God's Big Backyard is filled with useless junk? Dozens of computer monitors from the 80's, THE television from the movie Pleasantville (Yes, I'm sure), about 200 or more insect carcasses, and huge amounts of what-nots, knick-knacks, and trash.
You'd think God's Big Backyard would have better upkeep than that!

Well not anymore. It is now a nicely equipped temporary music room. And all it took was every minute of my day in turbo mode to get it that way.

Whew!

Toes

Toes are very funny.

Today, Jaron was trying to explain something to me about one of his toes.
He said, "You know mom, my thumb toe?"

I don't remember what he was telling me. I just burst out laughing. Mostly because its funny, but also because I remember thinking that too as a kid.

Funny kids with funny thumb toes.

Chapters

I have been doing a lot of thinking about the chapters in our lives.

In the last year, I have seen a lot of friends' chapters close and begin anew.

Some friends had real page-turners! Exciting stuff happening so quickly, you couldn't put the book down between chapters for fear of missing something. And you were always so happy to get filled in on all the great news and things that were happening for them.

Other friends were living War and Peace. A laborious read with few chapters that offered resolution. Even flipping through their book for highlights was discouraging at times. But in the end, you just knew that things were going to turn out for them. And you were so glad for them when things turned out well and their struggles finally ended.

I, for one, am really glad this chapter in my life is ending. This past summer has been one encapsulated by hurt and disappointment. Just when I thought one injury was healed, another one would stealthily slip in to take its place. Over and over and over.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new chapter. The start of a new school year - albeit not the one I was expecting - a fresh start nonetheless.

There are still things that lie in a state of unrest. Not really put to bed or brought to complete closure, but I have decided to be content.
It is not important for me to understand why things unravelled the way they did.
It is only important for me to take the ownership that was mine in each situation, ruminate on it to learn whatever I can, and then to bury it in good soil.

I'll fix my eyes on the things I can do today to make a difference in the situation I find myself in.
The situation God put me in for reasons that have yet to be revealed, ever looking for the harvest.

Perhaps one reason is that my kids still need me. Or that I still need them. Perhaps it's not a question of whether I had heard God, but more that my timing was not in sync with His.
Maybe this whole chapter in my life was to teach me where it is safe to place my trust, only in Him. Only ever in Him.
Or maybe there isn't any ultra-spiritual spin on any of it.
Maybe, just maybe, it happened.

Whatever the answer to life's quandaries, I'd like to say I feel stronger, somehow better because of it all, but I can't even honestly say that yet.

Keep reading. I would love for that to be the end of the next chapter.

Bowling night.

What could inspire a person the minute they wake up to think, "Hmmm... I think I'd like to go bowling today?"

Those were some words Jaron uttered today. I don't even know if he remembers the only time he's ever gone bowling prior to today. In any case, he really wanted to do that today and Chris was off work. Plus, we were really wanting to reward Jaron for being so grown up at his very first ever therapy session today. So we went.

(Sidenote: I'm not a fan of, nor do I anticipate ever feeling differently about, renting bowling shoes.)

Some things I didn't expect:

• Jaron is quite the little bowler. Who would have thought that his score of 117 would seriously dwarf my lifetime best score of 98? Yes, he's good. I told you.
• Chris and I could not help but chuckle as Avery, who insisted on wearing a denim mini-skirt to the bowling alley, would bend over, set her giant pink ball down centered between her legs and strain to spread her legs beyond the slack her skirt provided. She then commenced to "granny roll" the ball down the lane. On average, the ball had been in painfully-slow motion for 45 seconds or so before it made it to the pins and kind of 'leaned' into the pins as if to say, "Please?" She then would cheer and twirl, regardless or whether any pins fell. Cuteness.
• Jaron took particular annoyance to her genuine thrill. He couldn't understand why anyone who clearly stunk at bowling could be so content to stink at it. It was very hard to explain to him his sister's obvious innocence and refreshing contentment. She was simply happier twirling on the nice hard wood floors and giving high fives than bowling...
• Chris bowled the game of a lifetime. I don't know why that bugged me. He's just good at everything. Every five seconds it was like, oh another strike? Wow, babe! I guess you all know how that goes... :P
• I thoroughly enjoyed watching their amusement at my plague of gutterball after gutterball. It was truly a thing to behold. I guess I used to think I was ok, and in a totally UNrelated story, I don't think I have ever played a game without Shannon also playing a game nearby. Either way, I have lived with the impression that I wasn't half-bad at bowling for 28 years only to find out that most 5 year olds can smoke me.
• I want to go back tomorrow and do it all over again. It was so much fun!

If you are reading this expecting a punchline or a closing statement about my dislike for renting bowling shoes, you'll not find it here. That was it in a nutshell.

Take your kids bowling. It's fun!

Bedtime Story

I forgot to write down Avery's made-up bedtime story last night.
It went like this:

Avery: "Tonight's story goes like this. NO story. Mommy?"

Me: "Yes, baby?"

Avery: "I'm very sleepy. Can I go to sleep now?"

Parenthood 101: Acceptance

Tomorrow morning, I am taking Jaron to the Rehab Center.
He has been diagnosed with Sensory Integration issues by his pediatrician and will be getting evaluated for further course of therapy.
I don't quite know how that translates exactly into real-life, but I do know after working with preschool aged children for the last few years that we are dealing with an exceptional child in Jaron. Try as we might, it is apparent that Chris and I could use a few pointers on parenting him. So we are looking at this as an opportunity for growth.

It has been a road fraught with both inexplicable joy and trial to be Jaron's parents.
We have loved and corrected, wrestled with him and wrestled with how to parent him.

He knows he is different. Sometimes he is able to celebrate the wonderful qualities that set him apart, and we celebrate them along with him.
Other days, the isolation those 'differences' bring is a pang, straight to the very core of who he is.

As his parents, knowing full well that there are many, many good days sprinkled with some not-so-good days, Chris and I have long sought what help, if any, we should afford him.

At the persistent urging of the entire faculty at our school, Chris and I decided to entertain the possibilities that therapy brings. The doc agreed that this was a journey we should take. One that could greatly benefit our son.

I spoke with Jaron tonight, to prepare him for the unknowns that lie ahead for him tomorrow.
He has never adapted very well to change, a part of having sensory integration issues.
He asked me questions about the new place he is going tomorrow. I tried my best to answer him, but I've never done this either. I didn't know how to answer all of his questions.

I stressed that we all have trouble knowing exactly how to cope with some things. How to 'be' in certain situations - especially new situations. I told him that we were going to make some new friends tomorrow who would help us, give us the tools we need to be the best Jaron and Mommy we could be.
He said, "so that my friends will like me better?"
I winced, "No. So that you stay YOU. Completely you, but the best YOU you can be."

I don't think I know what to expect. I am not sure how to tell him what to expect.
At the end of all this, I want Jaron to feel completely accepted and acceptable.
That is the goal. To equip him for life. Success in school, in jobs, in relationships, in whatever.

I guess I am concerned that the things that make him different, perhaps a touch more difficult to parent/teach at times, will be perceived by him as things that make him unacceptable or less worthy of our love and acceptance.

He is exactly the kid I would have ordered from a catalog if I had been given the chance. I cannot imagine life without his quirky little self.
He needs to know - believe - that wherever he is, whatever he does, he adds so much to the world just by being in it.
His value is without price. His contribution: incalculable. His acceptance: unconditional.

It can be so hard to feel like you've done the right thing in trying to help a child by seeking help from therapists, but if you don't do everything you can to set them up for success, have you done enough? There's a thin, thin line. I want to have stood on the right side of that line when this is all over.

Goose Egg and Gash.

I wish you could have seen the way Jaron leapt from the fireplace, zoomed across the living room, and torpedoed into the air head-first toward the couch cushions.
His only miscalculation? How high to jump.
He waaaay overshot his mark, missed the couch entirely, and hit the wall above the couch headlong with the full force of his body behind him.

The resulting lump was incredible. It looked like a volcano science project when the vinegar gets poured in with the baking soda. POW! Instantly huge.
At one point, Chris said, "Man, you got a goose egg the size of a, well, goose egg."

We iced it and the swelling subsided a tad. But if ever, at any point, during the day he over-exerted himself by doing anything other than sitting and watching tv, it would re-swell. We're talking Biblical proportions.

You already must know what keeping a boy like mine still and calm all day long is like...

I felt like a broken record. Every few minutes I reminded him, "Let's try to stay calm, remember?"
While inside, my heart was racing, terrified that his lump would grow beyond epic. It was so, so huge!

Around 6pm, I could no longer scare him into submission (Calmness). He was taunted one too many times by his little sister. She has this way of sashaying past him and acting coy that the boy simply cannot resist.

The race was on... until she got to her bedroom, turned to see him coming, and slammed the door. On his head.

The resulting gash was incredible.
It was so deep it looked more like a dent in a vehicle than in a human head. No blood at first. Just a kind of eerie gray color with a deep groove. Then it all came rushing out. EWWWW!

Luckily, (I guess it was lucky anyway) it was on the side of his head previously unaffected by the goose egg.

I got all frustrated with him and said, "See? When you get all crazy and start acting wild, this is what happens..."
He was still crying from the pain. I was being critical of his impulsiveness.
I was exasperated. I didn't give him the warmth and comfort he needed. He was hurt and already regretted the decision to take his sister's bait.
I immediately wished I could have been a lot more nurturing. A lot more like my Heavenly Father who never kicks me while I'm down.

So I grabbed my very last ice pack and lovingly doctored his new gash.
I kissed him and held him tight, at a loss for words.
It stung my heart. Too often I fail at this monumental task of motherhood, especially with regard to my son.

Later in the car, he said, "I have decided to forgive myself."
I said, "What did you have to forgive yourself for baby?"
He said, "For actin' all wild and getting myself hurt."

I told him I was sorry for snapping at him and asked him to forgive me.

What's a mom to do with a kid like him?
He's priceless and passionate.
Full of energy and life.
Introspective and impulsive.
Brilliant and all-boy.
He makes me smile everyday. The inside kind of smile - where you know you must be doing something right to have such a great kid.
The very next moment, I want to wring his neck!

He's my baby.
But he's also becoming so big, so fast.
A Kindergartener in just a few more days.

I am terribly proud of him.
Even when I am not terribly proud of the way I mother him.

Webkinz

Mom Alert:

Someone has developed a technique of sucking every brain cell out of a parent's head while adding beau coups of chores to their day.
It's called Webkinz and once a child gets one, the parents are doomed.

If you don't know what I am talking about, here's what they are:
It's an evil force that parades around like a cute little cuddly stuffed animal. Similar to Beanie Babies, only way softer. And for good measure, the mark of the beast, or Webkinz "W" is on their paw, so it's officially a Webkin.
In my childhood, stuffed animals served ONE purpose: to collect dust. But in this day and age, they have concocted a far more time-consuming role for stuffed animals.

The Webkin is given a SECRET CODE. And you are encouraged to go to a special website and adopt your Webkin. But that's only the start.
You, as the good parent, spend an hour and a half reading over the site making sure it's safe. You register the pet (keeping in mind it is and only ever will be a STUFFED ANIMAL!!)
You print out all the special secret information they give you such as passwords and codes.

You breathe a sigh of relief that this drudgery is finally over when lo and behold you realize the fun has just begun. Your child is now interested in becoming a responsible parent. As a responsible parent yourself, you'd be hornswaggled if you didn't support their newfound interest in responsible parenthood. So you engage in navigating this far-too-complicated-for-small-children website whilst reading your child every word, so they can be a part of the whole thing; after all, they did just adopt a 'real' stuffed animal.

You earn money to clothe, bathe, and entertain the Webkin. You buy it a bed, a toilet, and other Stuffed Animal essentials. It just goes on and on. Then its hungry again. You get my drift?

See? Masquerading as an innocent stuffed animal, but I warn you, it's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Err.. Webkinz clothing.

Either way, this lengthy gripe session was all to prepare you for the most horrible confession of all.
I spent hours last night online trying to earn Webkinz money so I wouldn't have to spend so much time today trying to.

Sheesh!

Tonight's gift

I usually tell made-up bedtime stories each night. The kids enjoy it and it keeps my brain from stagnating. (Some might have comments there.)
Anyway, Avery especially has giggled and smiled during my ridiculous made-up story time with her. Lately, she has been asking if she could tell me a story instead.

So here's tonight's story:

"Once upon a time, (they must all begin this way) there was a princess named Avery.
She did wear a princess nightgown like this one (pointing to her tummy).
She did climb up a very tall tree, but she didn't climb down.
She did jump a huge jump out of that tree and did not get bloods. Amen."

I love that girl!

Super sore throat

There are few things that can stop me in my tracks quite as quickly as a sore throat.

Bummer.

Combat Boots

I feel like I'm in the midst of an all-out assault. Jobs, relationships, raising my kids, finances, worthiness, it goes on and on.
The stupid devil isn't gonna win though.

I hate conflict.
For someone who hates conflict as much as I do, why then am I here?

I want it all to be over.

Peace, please, peace.

I guess if it has to be this way, it is better to defend every angle at once, rather than drawing it out for a long period of time isolating one area at a time.

So from all sides it comes. And comes. And comes.

Probably the lesson I should learn from all this is that the battle isn't mine.
And I know that.

It's hard to believe that the battle isn't waged against your flesh and blood when you're the one getting punched in the face.

I should probably duck.

The battle is the Lord's.

I never liked combat boots much anyway.

Sherlock Holmes

I was able to trace by some pretty incredible sleuthing that the gentleman who was hired for the job I applied for is not certified to teach music in the state of Texas.

He is certified as an EC-4 Generalist and has taught 1st Grade previous to this upcoming school year.

I needed that job.

God will take care of us. That goes without saying.

But what they did was not only discriminatory, but illegal.

I am certified to teach EC-12 music.
If there is a certified applicant, you cannot legally hire someone who isn't.


Oy!

here's to you.

for anyone who ever felt like they still wanted to home school their children by the middle of August...

for anyone who truly enjoys eating 'kid food' (read: chicken nuggets and EZ Mac) at every meal...

for you, if the thought of eating McDonald's ever again appeals to you...

furthermore, if you regularly succumb to your children's appeals to go 'inside' McDonald's and Play... (Although, I might suggest a cleaner location to allow them to slosh around in - like the DUMP.) :)

If you can still smile when your children ask to do arts and crafts in the kitchen while you prepare a meal - even though every nook and cranny in your home is crammed to overflowing with meaningful 'artwork'...

for anyone, and I do mean anyone, who is not greedily anticipating the re-emergence of order in your household that the beginning of the school year brings because you cannot imagine what your days could possibly be filled with, if not absolute devotion to your children's needs...

If any of the aforementioned describes YOU,

Here's to you:

First Thing Every Morning

Some people check on their kids.
Some workout.
Me?
I check the job listings for every ISD within driving range from here.

I'm just sayin'...

I'm so boring.

I want to blog. Really. I do.
I just don't have anything constructive to say.

I could tell you that I've been cooking meals. Real meals. But that might cause your head to explode.

I have Half-painted the outside entrance to our house - but that was weeks ago - and I haven't picked up the paint brush to finish yet.

Today is a weird day. All of my teacher friends are going to work today. I was planning on being at work today. I'm not.

It's almost 11 am and I am about to go into the kitchen and start a pot of coffee.

There is a word to describe my slothfulness. Slothfulness.

See? I'm boring...

And I quote,

My son said today that he, "Double-Triple-Wipple-Dipple hates" me.

A hard day for sure.

New 'do.

So here is my new (ahem) "shoulder" length haircut. I know. I didn't realize that the distance between my jawline and shoulders was 0.12 inches. It apparently is.
All is not lost.
Only the ponytail.

I wish I had known it was going to be so short - I would have donated to Locks of Love or something...

Whatever it is - I don't care -I'll rock it!

For Nana.

Caught ya!

Yes, that is your baby sitting in the fridge sneakily eating butter.

She didn't fall far from the tree, huh?

(I caught her in the act - then she started posing for her photo shoot!)

My Blue Heaven.

It has begun again.
I am loopy with excitement!

Gremlins.

My children were introduced to the 'drink of angels' tonight.
We were driving home when I saw something I had not seen in our town since I was a little girl.
A 7-11.
We have probably had one for a while now, but as a general rule, I don't frequent convenience stores with my two kids in tow, so I hadn't noticed that we had a 7-11.

I remembered 7-11 slurpees and had to have one.
We did a U-turn and secured said slurpee.

The kids tasted it and said, "It tastes like angels!"

Then, in a gremlin-esque 'eating after midnight' way, they began to dance circles around Chris and I begging for just one more taste.
The begging escalated to a full scale chase and tackle session around our entire house.
It was one of the scariest things I have ever witnessed. But it was also so much fun and in the end it escalated into a full-out laughing frenzy for the 4 of us.

You heard it here first, Slurpees turn small children into Gremlins.

One Word Answers.

Thanks Jenny! I have been really stuck on blogs lately..

1. Where is your cell phone? dunno
2. Your significant other? Chris
3. Your hair? longish
4. Your Skin?changing
5. Your mother? perfect
6. Your Favorite Thing? mothering
7. Your dream last night? clueless
8. Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Your dream/goal? togetherness
10. The room you’re in? quiet
11. Your ex? ewwww...
12. Your fear? inadequacy
13. where do you want to be in six years? nearby
14. Where were you last night? jenny's
15. What you’re not? patient
16. Muffins? mmmmmmmm......
17. One of your wish list items? answers
18. Where you grew up? here
19. The last thing you did? 18
20. What are you wearing? jammies
21. Your TV? on
22. Your pet(s)? nonexistent
23. Your computer? travels
24. Your life? great
25. Your mood? blah
26. Missing someone? sister
27. Your car? minivan
29. Favorite Store? supertarget
30. Your summer? stretching
31. Like someone? always
32. Your favorite color? chocolate
33. When is the last time you laughed? morning
34. Last time you cried? Friday
35. Who will/would re-post this? kablot
36. Whose Answers are you anxious to see? yours

Ugly honesty.

We've been preparing all summer for everything to change.

Nothing's changing now.

I am really struggling with this.

I want to write something funny. Something uplifting. Something else. But the only thing on the mind is what isn't happening.

I am really trying to focus on something else. But everything keeps leading back to the cold, hard facts.

The truth? I am relieved that things are turning out the way they are. I'll be honest - working part time beats working full-time anyday. Working part-time while still getting to spend your days with your kids really is perfect.

The lingering thoughts? Why? I went through all the torture of preparing everything for the inevitable full-time outcome and it didn't happen. Seriously, my parents moved to help us out... Am I that far from hearing God's voice?
I really, with every ounce of myself, believed it would happen. And it didn't.
And now my pride is hurt - pride I wasn't even aware of.

So what's next?

Grumpy.

I am just downright grumpy today.

There are probably several antidotes to my poison - but Alex, I'll take 'Girls' Nite' for $300.

Cute stuff - and some not as cute stuff.

We're back for good this time - at least for a while anyway.

The kids went with my parents to see my Grandmother - their Great-Grandmother - this weekend. They have just talked and talked about how much fun it was.
She has a peach tree, which had really juicy, ripe peaches on it this week. My Grandmother made my uncle save the peaches on the lowest branches for my kids to pick. There is nothing cuter than watching my kids when they have an important job to do - I am sorry I missed it. My son just couldn't get enough peach-pickin'. After they had filled a wagon to overflowing several times, he was asked to stop picking the peaches and he said, "I can't. My bones won't let me stop."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the car on the way to Arlington, Avery was singing and singing. We played kids music for most of the way and she was singing to herself. She sang, 'Do-Re-Mi-Mi-Mi. Do-Re-Mi-Mi-Mi.'
Jaron looked over at her in a really disgusted manner and said, "It's not 'Do-Re-You-You-YOU! It's Do-Re-ME-ME-ME!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Avery got some of those cheap Wal-Mart crocs before we left for vacation. They have since rubbed blisters on her feet. My mom said she walked over to her really sad and said, "Princesses don't get blisters on their feet and I have blisters on my feet. I guess I'm not a princess."
How sad is that?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today Chris and I got to take our time travelling back from Austin. We drove to San Marcos and had lunch. Then we drove through Fredricksburg. I love Fredricksburg! We had a lot of fun because we got to make our own schedule, which really is rare nowadays.
We went to Wildseed Farms - which I totally recommend if you've never been.
We also got to have my favorite ice cream in the world - I like it better than vanilla, and that's saying something...
It's at the little homemade ice cream parlor in Fredricksburg and it's called Amaretto Peach Pecan. It is divine. Worth the drive. Go get some. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On another note, when we got home, reality began to settle in.

I am not going to be working full time this year.
Our bank account is a very lonely place right now. Think empty cavern in which you could literally hear a nickle drop. And then bounce right back out.

I got a phone call from my husband's family and they told us that my sister-in-law has been admitted to the hospital for spinal meningitis. That's dangerous. Please pray. Her name is Nikki.

My dad is going to the hospital tomorrow to get some tests run. That bothers me. I worry about him - he's my daddy and I hate to think about him being anything less than completely well.

Since I am not working full-time next year, health insurance is still a major concern for me. I haven't had any for two years now - there are somewhat pressing health concerns that have come up - and I don't have insurance - nor does it seem like I will have for another year.

Money is the dumbest thing ever. Whoever thought of money needs to go eat worms.

I wish more than anything that I knew the answers to the hard stuff. I don't.
I know the One who holds tomorrow. That's enough.

Truly and Intently seeking God's Will.

The last few weeks and months have been an undeniable prodding in my heart.
I have been led by the uncanny and coincidental happenings around me to follow after a dream of becoming a full-time music teacher.

There are times in life when it seems that everything is pushing in an absolute direction and that all you have to do is follow the momentum that is carrying you to an exact and obvious location.

I have done everything that was required of me. I have jumped through every hoop. It all just seemed to make perfect sense.

I went to the perfect interview this morning. After it was over, I walked out and thought, 'There isn't anything I would change about that interview.' That all by itself is rare for me. I can always find something to critique about something I've done.

Then I got the call.

They chose the other applicant. (Who, incidentally, is NOT the one I was suspecting.)
The other applicant was a male. A Hispanic male.
The principal felt that he would best serve the challenging demographic needs of her campus and provide as a better role model.

So in the end, all this prodding, all this praying and believing, all this truly and intently seeking God's Will has seemingly ended in a somewhat painful dead end.

The good news- I still have the perfect job. A job I love. A job that will enable me to play a more active role in my children's lives for this next school year. A job I was truly grieving the thought of leaving.

The worst part - my husband will have to find another solution to his job situation as it appears that this year, I will not be part of that solution.

I am very confused about why things turned out the way they did - but I am still truly and intently believing that there is something I don't know. A part of the puzzle that remains to be revealed.

Today I ache. It's hard to look your dream in the face and watch it die. I will trust and know that there is good reason and that will be revealed to me just around the bend while I truly and intently seek God's Will.

(this time I might do it a little more quietly so I don't have to write a blog about how I got rejected... ) ;0

Pit stop.

We're making another pit stop. We arrived home this evening from a wondrous time together in the Dallas area! We got to see Aunt Nana, an old friend of Chris's, we went to Hurricane Harbor, we did it all!!
Well everything you can do on a budget in 2 days...
But I am certain that the kids felt really special and that was the whole point! Lots of laughs and fun memories were made.

I have an interview Friday morning and then it's off to the races again.
We'll drop the kids by my parents and they are going to see my grandmother, then Chris and I are going to Austin. I have to make sure I know the song I am singing. And then we have to hope against hope that we can find the Villa this shindig is taking place in...

I will try to update after the interview. I don't know what our timeline is tomorrow exactly...
Whatever happens at the interview - you can rest assured, I'm gonna look great!
In the .2 seconds we've been home, I made it a priority to get my nails done. If you know me at all, you know my hands look like mechanic hands and I felt insecure about going to an interview with them looking like barracudas had gnawed on them. So pretty nails it is. Also Shan made it her business to help me find the right get-up while I was in Arlington, just to make sure I went in shining!
Thanks Shan!!

We will return Sunday evening. See you soon!