The last few weeks and months have been an undeniable prodding in my heart.
I have been led by the uncanny and coincidental happenings around me to follow after a dream of becoming a full-time music teacher.
There are times in life when it seems that everything is pushing in an absolute direction and that all you have to do is follow the momentum that is carrying you to an exact and obvious location.
I have done everything that was required of me. I have jumped through every hoop. It all just seemed to make perfect sense.
I went to the perfect interview this morning. After it was over, I walked out and thought, 'There isn't anything I would change about that interview.' That all by itself is rare for me. I can always find something to critique about something I've done.
Then I got the call.
They chose the other applicant. (Who, incidentally, is NOT the one I was suspecting.)
The other applicant was a male. A Hispanic male.
The principal felt that he would best serve the challenging demographic needs of her campus and provide as a better role model.
So in the end, all this prodding, all this praying and believing, all this truly and intently seeking God's Will has seemingly ended in a somewhat painful dead end.
The good news- I still have the perfect job. A job I love. A job that will enable me to play a more active role in my children's lives for this next school year. A job I was truly grieving the thought of leaving.
The worst part - my husband will have to find another solution to his job situation as it appears that this year, I will not be part of that solution.
I am very confused about why things turned out the way they did - but I am still truly and intently believing that there is something I don't know. A part of the puzzle that remains to be revealed.
Today I ache. It's hard to look your dream in the face and watch it die. I will trust and know that there is good reason and that will be revealed to me just around the bend while I truly and intently seek God's Will.
(this time I might do it a little more quietly so I don't have to write a blog about how I got rejected... ) ;0
10 comments:
I have found that the TRUE key to real victory is to simply PRAISE THE LORD. I understand your hurt, but still praise the Lord - there are so many things we all have to praise Him for. Praise Him when it is pitch black and you cannot see around you, praise the Lord. I love you and miss seeing you!
Love you, sisser
wow! i am so sorry!
i'm even more sorry that i didn't get to answer your phone call. i feel like the worst friend!
call me as soon as you can!
Well, that sucks.
I am going to save my "it's all for the better and there's a reason" speech for another day because today I just feel like beating somebody up and repeating again and again, "that sucks!"
They missed out, my friend! They missed out indeed!
I am so sorry and I wish I could do something to make it better. Coffee? Brownies? A strongly worded letter to the stupid passed-up-the-best-teacher-ever principal?
That sucks.
: )
It's me again! Don't want to come across as some holy-moly! I only know that we've been through some VERY hard times, and God has never failed us. At times I would ask if He would just give us a breath of fresh air until the trial was over. He did! I always knew He would take care of us and the situation, just didn't know when. I really believe He has big plans for you, and it's something much better than what you were hoping for. I love you, but how much more He loves you. You and your precious family are in my prayers! Love you babe. Anutter mutter - Me
praying, friend.
Wow. So sorry you're sad about the outcome. Obviously, they didn't notice your beautiful nails. =) I would call you but I think you're probably frantically trying to learn your wedding song. I'm thinking of my bestest friend tonight......
Boy, do I know the feeling. Just last month I was about to take a job I knew I shouldn't take just because we weren't in a good financial place. But I didn't. And the next day I was offered a job that I didn't even apply for! God is so good!
jac is right...
but i completely understand how you are feeling. a different matter all-together, but painful nonetheless. what makes it more difficult is knowing that steps a and b have already taken place, so it just makes sense that c would come next, right? right??? God's alphabet is a little different than ours, my friend, but He still has you in the palm of His hand.
:( i know it seems to weird to not have things go OUR way... be "bendable" to God's will... HE has something even more amazing for you & your family!!!
luv ya - other sisser!
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