Gremlins.

My children were introduced to the 'drink of angels' tonight.
We were driving home when I saw something I had not seen in our town since I was a little girl.
A 7-11.
We have probably had one for a while now, but as a general rule, I don't frequent convenience stores with my two kids in tow, so I hadn't noticed that we had a 7-11.

I remembered 7-11 slurpees and had to have one.
We did a U-turn and secured said slurpee.

The kids tasted it and said, "It tastes like angels!"

Then, in a gremlin-esque 'eating after midnight' way, they began to dance circles around Chris and I begging for just one more taste.
The begging escalated to a full scale chase and tackle session around our entire house.
It was one of the scariest things I have ever witnessed. But it was also so much fun and in the end it escalated into a full-out laughing frenzy for the 4 of us.

You heard it here first, Slurpees turn small children into Gremlins.

One Word Answers.

Thanks Jenny! I have been really stuck on blogs lately..

1. Where is your cell phone? dunno
2. Your significant other? Chris
3. Your hair? longish
4. Your Skin?changing
5. Your mother? perfect
6. Your Favorite Thing? mothering
7. Your dream last night? clueless
8. Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Your dream/goal? togetherness
10. The room you’re in? quiet
11. Your ex? ewwww...
12. Your fear? inadequacy
13. where do you want to be in six years? nearby
14. Where were you last night? jenny's
15. What you’re not? patient
16. Muffins? mmmmmmmm......
17. One of your wish list items? answers
18. Where you grew up? here
19. The last thing you did? 18
20. What are you wearing? jammies
21. Your TV? on
22. Your pet(s)? nonexistent
23. Your computer? travels
24. Your life? great
25. Your mood? blah
26. Missing someone? sister
27. Your car? minivan
29. Favorite Store? supertarget
30. Your summer? stretching
31. Like someone? always
32. Your favorite color? chocolate
33. When is the last time you laughed? morning
34. Last time you cried? Friday
35. Who will/would re-post this? kablot
36. Whose Answers are you anxious to see? yours

Ugly honesty.

We've been preparing all summer for everything to change.

Nothing's changing now.

I am really struggling with this.

I want to write something funny. Something uplifting. Something else. But the only thing on the mind is what isn't happening.

I am really trying to focus on something else. But everything keeps leading back to the cold, hard facts.

The truth? I am relieved that things are turning out the way they are. I'll be honest - working part time beats working full-time anyday. Working part-time while still getting to spend your days with your kids really is perfect.

The lingering thoughts? Why? I went through all the torture of preparing everything for the inevitable full-time outcome and it didn't happen. Seriously, my parents moved to help us out... Am I that far from hearing God's voice?
I really, with every ounce of myself, believed it would happen. And it didn't.
And now my pride is hurt - pride I wasn't even aware of.

So what's next?

Grumpy.

I am just downright grumpy today.

There are probably several antidotes to my poison - but Alex, I'll take 'Girls' Nite' for $300.

Cute stuff - and some not as cute stuff.

We're back for good this time - at least for a while anyway.

The kids went with my parents to see my Grandmother - their Great-Grandmother - this weekend. They have just talked and talked about how much fun it was.
She has a peach tree, which had really juicy, ripe peaches on it this week. My Grandmother made my uncle save the peaches on the lowest branches for my kids to pick. There is nothing cuter than watching my kids when they have an important job to do - I am sorry I missed it. My son just couldn't get enough peach-pickin'. After they had filled a wagon to overflowing several times, he was asked to stop picking the peaches and he said, "I can't. My bones won't let me stop."

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In the car on the way to Arlington, Avery was singing and singing. We played kids music for most of the way and she was singing to herself. She sang, 'Do-Re-Mi-Mi-Mi. Do-Re-Mi-Mi-Mi.'
Jaron looked over at her in a really disgusted manner and said, "It's not 'Do-Re-You-You-YOU! It's Do-Re-ME-ME-ME!!!"
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Avery got some of those cheap Wal-Mart crocs before we left for vacation. They have since rubbed blisters on her feet. My mom said she walked over to her really sad and said, "Princesses don't get blisters on their feet and I have blisters on my feet. I guess I'm not a princess."
How sad is that?!
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Today Chris and I got to take our time travelling back from Austin. We drove to San Marcos and had lunch. Then we drove through Fredricksburg. I love Fredricksburg! We had a lot of fun because we got to make our own schedule, which really is rare nowadays.
We went to Wildseed Farms - which I totally recommend if you've never been.
We also got to have my favorite ice cream in the world - I like it better than vanilla, and that's saying something...
It's at the little homemade ice cream parlor in Fredricksburg and it's called Amaretto Peach Pecan. It is divine. Worth the drive. Go get some. :)

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On another note, when we got home, reality began to settle in.

I am not going to be working full time this year.
Our bank account is a very lonely place right now. Think empty cavern in which you could literally hear a nickle drop. And then bounce right back out.

I got a phone call from my husband's family and they told us that my sister-in-law has been admitted to the hospital for spinal meningitis. That's dangerous. Please pray. Her name is Nikki.

My dad is going to the hospital tomorrow to get some tests run. That bothers me. I worry about him - he's my daddy and I hate to think about him being anything less than completely well.

Since I am not working full-time next year, health insurance is still a major concern for me. I haven't had any for two years now - there are somewhat pressing health concerns that have come up - and I don't have insurance - nor does it seem like I will have for another year.

Money is the dumbest thing ever. Whoever thought of money needs to go eat worms.

I wish more than anything that I knew the answers to the hard stuff. I don't.
I know the One who holds tomorrow. That's enough.

Truly and Intently seeking God's Will.

The last few weeks and months have been an undeniable prodding in my heart.
I have been led by the uncanny and coincidental happenings around me to follow after a dream of becoming a full-time music teacher.

There are times in life when it seems that everything is pushing in an absolute direction and that all you have to do is follow the momentum that is carrying you to an exact and obvious location.

I have done everything that was required of me. I have jumped through every hoop. It all just seemed to make perfect sense.

I went to the perfect interview this morning. After it was over, I walked out and thought, 'There isn't anything I would change about that interview.' That all by itself is rare for me. I can always find something to critique about something I've done.

Then I got the call.

They chose the other applicant. (Who, incidentally, is NOT the one I was suspecting.)
The other applicant was a male. A Hispanic male.
The principal felt that he would best serve the challenging demographic needs of her campus and provide as a better role model.

So in the end, all this prodding, all this praying and believing, all this truly and intently seeking God's Will has seemingly ended in a somewhat painful dead end.

The good news- I still have the perfect job. A job I love. A job that will enable me to play a more active role in my children's lives for this next school year. A job I was truly grieving the thought of leaving.

The worst part - my husband will have to find another solution to his job situation as it appears that this year, I will not be part of that solution.

I am very confused about why things turned out the way they did - but I am still truly and intently believing that there is something I don't know. A part of the puzzle that remains to be revealed.

Today I ache. It's hard to look your dream in the face and watch it die. I will trust and know that there is good reason and that will be revealed to me just around the bend while I truly and intently seek God's Will.

(this time I might do it a little more quietly so I don't have to write a blog about how I got rejected... ) ;0

Pit stop.

We're making another pit stop. We arrived home this evening from a wondrous time together in the Dallas area! We got to see Aunt Nana, an old friend of Chris's, we went to Hurricane Harbor, we did it all!!
Well everything you can do on a budget in 2 days...
But I am certain that the kids felt really special and that was the whole point! Lots of laughs and fun memories were made.

I have an interview Friday morning and then it's off to the races again.
We'll drop the kids by my parents and they are going to see my grandmother, then Chris and I are going to Austin. I have to make sure I know the song I am singing. And then we have to hope against hope that we can find the Villa this shindig is taking place in...

I will try to update after the interview. I don't know what our timeline is tomorrow exactly...
Whatever happens at the interview - you can rest assured, I'm gonna look great!
In the .2 seconds we've been home, I made it a priority to get my nails done. If you know me at all, you know my hands look like mechanic hands and I felt insecure about going to an interview with them looking like barracudas had gnawed on them. So pretty nails it is. Also Shan made it her business to help me find the right get-up while I was in Arlington, just to make sure I went in shining!
Thanks Shan!!

We will return Sunday evening. See you soon!

Home for a little while

I got home last night from the 'Walk'
It was so much more than I thought it would be.
I learned a lot, cried a lot (shocker), and felt very loved.
Thanks to those of you who played a part in that.

One thing I can say is that most of what I learned cannot be verbalized, but one thing I learned can...
It's Emmaus, not Amaeus.

Incidentally, if you are ever asked to go on a Walk, GO.
Time well spent. I wish I had done it a long time ago.

Elevator Music

I am leaving in the next few minutes - and I wanted to leave you with someting that might
annoy you for the next few days...

news in bullets

• I have been scheduled for an interview. It's Friday, August 1 at 8:30am. The most important thing is that I want to be where I am supposed to be. I keep praying for direction.
• I took my very first ever violin lesson today! It was so much fun.
• I am apparently "The Wedding Singer" and I didn't realize it. Yes, Shan - they have sucked me in...
• I have fallen completely off the workout wagon - at least this week - it has truly been all but impossible to get to the gym this week. So busy!
• I leave tomorrow for the Walk to Amaeus - there won't be any way to contact me - if for some reason you must find me, call my parents.
• Jenny took pictures of my kids last night - I can't wait to see them! It's cool to see someone you know as a friend be so professional!