Holding Back.

If you did not hear my shrieks of excitement, you soon will...

Something wonderful is in the works.
Something I have been waiting for.
A long time coming, I'll say.
It's almost certainly not what you're thinking.
But a huge deal to me, nonetheless.

ok - your suspense is totally awesome.
I'll come back to this later.
You're going to be mega-disappointed...
I, on the other hand, will be in hog heaven!!

What's going on here?

When I found out I was going to be a mommy, I went from being super-independent straight back to my momma's breast.
Well, maybe it wasn't that bad, but still. I don't think I changed a diaper that I didn't first consult her about it. My mom filled the role of mother, nanny, doctor, pastor, best friend, and pretty much whatever else I needed. She's my hero. I was so very, very attached to her (and my dad) that I eventually stopped running to God when I needed something. I ran directly to my parents. How draining that must have been! It must have been like having a newborn all over again...

I was also completely dependent on my sister for female friendship.
I hung out with her as often as she would come over to my house, taking up as much of her social time as she would give me. I became demanding of her. I required her to call me everyday, because we were dating... hehehe But seriously, I gravitated to her so strongly that I saw no need for other friendships, save a few.

I then saw a need in my life for a mommy friend. A friend that also had children so my children could have friends. There was this incredible girl at church, but I had trust issues.
I finally broke down and let myself be myself around her, and she still called me.
I was shocked! And we became best mommy friends!

I had my perfect circle!
What had been broken through years of selfishness had been mended with my parents and my sister and brother.
I also had allowed myself to have one other friend outside my family.
I had really branched out!

I began to focus all my effort on my little family, and the exhausted few others that were a part of my life.
I got so attached to these precious few that God was not really a source for me anymore.
Although relationships with God's children are important, He still wanted to commune with ME!

About 3-4 months after my daughter was born, God moved my parents away from me. Not too far. Just far enough that I could not run to them for every little thing. I had to begin to put my trust in God. And to trust that I was capable of making a decision without first calling Momma.

A little over a year ago, my sister was called away from here so that she could become all the things that God has called her to be. Leaving me to make my own friends at church, not just being absorbed into her peer group. It also forced me to come out of my coma of untrust.
I had to trust God for people, trustworthy people, to enter my life. God had to draw her away so I could draw near to Him.

Now my best mommy friend is leaving.
I know that the road ahead of her is one filled with the stuff that most of us only dream about someday doing for God. Her plate has always been so beautifully full - and with a fourth dream-bucket on the way, it is sure to get more full!
I have really concentrated my friendship (and my numerous needs) in her direction this past year and she has been so gracious to bear it. But it was never her burden to bear, I need to learn to give it to God. And soon she will be gone - leaving me again to trust God...

Though it seems I'll never wise up, I am beginning to see the pattern here.

I am not saying that this is some grand scheme or scandal, but it does seem that every time I put too much of my emotional 'stock' into someone - they end up trading up and moving away.

I just hope that the friendships I am developing with so many of you, some who are moving and others who are staying put for a while - will help me not pour too many of my eggs into your basket - I want to put my eggs into God's basket.
I have repeatedly allowed myself to become too dependent on the people around me to fill God-sized shoes.
I am really trying to do better, and with your help, I will...

But for now, I just wish that everyone I am close to could stick around for a while... ;)

A change of heart.

I have decided that I may actually have some recipes to donate to the cause...



Here's my "recipe for a good laugh"

Step 1: Buy a frozen pizza.

Step 2: Look at the box as you open it to cook it.

Step 3: Laugh till you wee.



I bought this frozen pizza without really noticing the box. Now that I have read the box, I feel like the village idiot who actually fell for the advertising gimmick.

I had to take a picture because I was so sure you guys would accuse me of making this up.

It has a "scratch and sniff" sticker on the box.

You will never guess what that sticker smells like...

It smells like "Garlic bread TASTE"
I'll let you know what 'garlic bread taste' smells like ASAP!!
And yes, I DID scratch it and sniff it...

Another great recipe is the one no_iffer was asking for...

The lead-up to this funny thing is - Last week at work my boss handed us all this article on cooking in plastic. The whole article is that it causes cancer to cook in plastic.

I agreed to cook a meal for no_iffer's family on Thursday. I didn't feel 100%, so I went out to my freezer in the garage to check it out. There sat a beautiful Stouffer's Grandma's Cheesy Chicken and Rice casserole. It was too easy!

All I had to do was cook it and make some side and rolls!! And I knew it would be good because I hadn't actually profaned it in any way with my own cooking!! So, remembering the article, I popped that bad boy out of its plastic baking dish and into a glass one of mine.

Presto! The stuff of legend.

no-iffer: the recipe is Wal-Mart frozen food section. Stouffer's casserole!!

How funny!! I am glad you liked it, but I cannot take any of the credit...

(unless being sneaky is good, in that case, I'm a rockstar)

recipe exchange.

To those of you who were so kind to send me the recipe exchange:
I'm sorry.
I will not be taking part in the recipe exchange.
Not because I wouldn't love to get some great recipes, but because I am not a great cook.
I am not even a good cook.
It's not that I couldn't someday be a great cook, it's just not that important to me.
A long time ago, at the beginning of my marriage - I realized that my husband eats at a great restaurant every day and no matter what I cook, it will never measure up. Then I had kids.
They hate everything - except tomatoes, celery, goldfish crackers, grapes, yogurt, chicken nuggets, apples, and grilled cheese.
I make the world's best grilled cheese.
Otherwise, my recipe bank is empty.
Love you.
I don't love to cook.
Sorry....

mindless chatter.

this is me wishing i had something worthwhile to blog about.
i got nothing.
isn't it strange that when you have EVERYTHING going on, you cannot find anything to say?
i simply could not wrangle one single line of thoughts for a long enough time period to blog tonight.

the kids and i went to 2 really fun birthday parties today. happy, happy birthday little Z-man!

i have a zit that is so incredible and has been with me for so long that i have decided to name it:
meet 'the hunchback.' it's not on my back but it creates such an unnatural angle on my face that it obscures my vision. some zit, you say. yeah, some zit. i would be telling lies if i told you i had not thought about calling in sick to work when it reared it's ugly head.

i need to plan little A's birthday party.

last night, J said my gravy was better than sugar. he also said he would never need to eat candy again because my gravy was so good. this morning he asked for candy. i offered him gravy. he declined...

i need to find the time to:
pot plants for the fall, weed my flower bed, finish painting a 4 foot section of my dining room, buy stamps, finish moving into our house so i can donate boxes to a worthy cause, make an insurance claim before it's too late, STUDY for my ridiculous Excet exam that i should have taken like 6 years ago.

did anyone pick up a black 3-ring binder at the retreat with music in it?
it's probably mine. all i need out of it is the kiddie music for work - the rest you can have...
please tell me that someone has it... you're my only hope...

cowboys kick off at noon. somebody tell pastor.

The (ahem) haircut.

J. cut his hair at school on Thursday.
Just a hearty snip right in the front after he finished a project that everyone else was still working on.
He works faster than all his classmates, which is reason #1184 that we call him "turbo,"
so he has been having a lot of free time in his class.
Idle hands are truly the work of the devil.
He decided he needed a trim.
It wasn't terribly noticeable... the kid has boo-koos of hair, just a little snip was not gonna change his overall look.
But he said the reason he did it was because his hair was 'too long'.
I thought "a little prevention goes a long way" so I decided to give him a haircut for reals...
Maybe with his new shorter 'do it would balance out the whack he made to his scalp in that little spot.

I said all this to say, as I buzzed off layer upon layer of hair, the snip became more and more noticeable.
I should have left it longer so it could have covered the chunk of missing hair.
Now it just looks like ringworms or something.

he's still very dashing though.
what a brat!

Remember When?

Remember when life's worst disappointment was when your parent's forgot to take you to the park after they promised?

Remember when "growing food" was a good thing?

Remember when a catastrophe could be summed up as dropping your ice cream cone, scoop-side down?

Remember when the most sinister thing you could conjure was the 'boogey man?'

Remember when you were cool because your momma told you so?

Remember when all you had to do in the bathtub was splash around while somebody else scrubbed you down and rinsed you off?

Remember when your biggest worry in life was whenever 'your father got home?'

Remember when there was nothing as simply wonderful as the mention of your next birthday?

Remember when Christmas morning was sugar-plum fairies and candy canes, not credit cards and choking hazards?

Remember when a $2 clearance back pack was all it took to make your mom the coolest cat around?

I am so blessed! These are not distant memories for me. They are everyday occurrences.

I love, love, love being a mommy! It's a second chance at savoring everything!

calling all doctors...

Fit as a fiddle.
That is exactly how I felt when I woke up this morning.
Throughout the day, I started to have a scratchy throat.
At Wal-Mart, while I shopped for groceries, I began to feel jet-lagged...
Around the time the voice lesson I was giving was over, I would almost swear that someone kicked me in the throat and the head, simultaneously. Repeatedly.
I have swallowed approximately 428 rocks since then - large, jagged rocks.

Suffice it to say, it is entirely possible that by bedtime tonight, I'll be needing paddles...

I won't be making it to church tonight.
La, tell Julia I am sorry.
The kids are sad.
I feel terrible about that.
I just feel more terrible physically than I feel bad about not taking them...

My hot mechanic.

So my car wouldn't start...
It was the perfect start to my day yesterday.

I thought to myself - 'ok, so your car won't start...
All you have to do is unload 2 kids, 2 carseats, 2 lunchboxes, a guitar, and your 2 school bags... in less than 45 seconds, wake up your hunny, hope he's not grumpy, get everything loaded into his car, and you're off...'
See?

NO BIG DEAL.

My car wouldn't start.
The looming thoughts that occur when that happens...
You tend to see $800 invoices floating around in thin air on the days when your car won't start.
You begin thinking about all the phantom things that might be wrong with your car, which, for some reason, has become a bit more of a family member than you realized...

So here's where my story deviates from the usual story line -
My husband fixed it!
All by himself!
I didn't have to spend $800 on a piddely little thing.
He figured it out, fixed it, and I am back in action.

Big hottie in a minivan...
Woo-Hoo!!!



Thanks Babe!
You're amazing!

Hanging Out.

You must be joking.

That is what I kept thinking to myself as I walked into my son's room today and found 'the tragedy.'

It was actually a tragedy in 3 acts.

It was the kind of thing that when you are as dreadfully behind on everything in your house as I am - the scene I stumbled upon evoked a certain calm and at once hysterical yet frightening chuckle...

You are familiar, right?

The kid was mortified!

Act 1 - He had decided that he needed to take every stitch of clothing out of his closet, most of it off the hangers, and into a pile on the floor.

Act 2 involved swinging from the closet bar.

Act 3 - He was inspired by some of the Superman Garb in his closet and felt that he needed to clothe Superman in Superman attire... naturally...

I took a few moments, gathered my wits, returned with a camera, and proceeded to 'encourage' him to re-hang his clothes.

He was unmotivated by my repeated urging.

He then, in a final act of desperation, decided that our house needed a splash of color. In every room.

What better way to add color to a room than to walk in with armfuls of clothes and strew them about?

I was ecstatic!