Full Top Bunk and Empty Top Rack

Tonight he lost his other top front tooth and decided that he wanted to sleep on the top bunk of his bed for the very first time.
He writes - with very clever spelling, I might add - words like "Submarine" and "Self-destruct button" on his artwork.
He is perpetually more energetic than you can imagine.
He is in love with dirt - so much so, that I doubt the love affair will ever end. I - on the other hand- am so over his love for all things dirt-y...
He is a happy kid, but never will you find him happier than when he's out in the backyard in just his underwear climbing a tree or digging in the mud. He hums while he plays and makes the most realistic sound-effects.
His kisses make my heart go pitter-pat. He wraps his arms around you so tight when he hugs you.
He still hates cleaning his room and is beginning to think that bathing and brushing your teeth are overrated.
He loves his baby sister and wants to protect her from everything one minute and knocks her silly over something stupid the next minute.
He is absolutely, positively the most wonderful little boy a mother could ever ask for!

blah

I have been working full time for a little over 4 months now and find myself going through the heart-wrenching phase of realizing that I am falling out of touch with my children.
My heart hurts.

I worry that they may never remember how I was always available to them at a moment's notice - no matter what...

I can no longer tell you how many green beans they ate at lunch or where that glob of 'what is that anyway?' on her forehead came from.
I don't know how it happened, but there are muddy footprints in the living room carpet. I do know those feet though- and for once, Jaron's muddy footprints make me smile...
I am slower to wipe the fingerprints off the glass doors nowadays.
I can't tell you the last time I built anything with Jaron out of Legos.
She can't wear clothes out of the little girl's section anymore - how did she grow up so quickly?

These are the types of sacrifices that you simply cannot put a price tag on.

I knew what I was signing up for when I took this job. The 'reasons' it was the right choice to make are still valid.

The truth? My mom was a fabulous stay-at-home mom and I don't remember any of the day-to-day stuff from my childhood. What I do remember is being overwhelmingly loved, certain of the fact that my parents were in my corner, and 100% secure because of that.

That, I can do.

Camp E.D.G.E. VBS and you're invited!

Well if you are ages 3 years old to 6th Grade, that is.

When: July 27-31, 2009

• On July 27 from 5:00pm-7:00pm we will be having a Kickoff Swim Party (free of charge) at College Hills Swim and Racquet. Please come and enjoy this time as a family together. Hot dogs, hamburgers, fixin's, and refreshments will be provided.
• Beginning July 28-31 from 5:00pm-8:00pm an amazing group of volunteers and FirstChurch staff will assemble themselves at 37 E. Beauregard in great expectation of your precious children.

Much planning and praying have gone into this to make this our best VBS yet! T-Shirts will be given out, dinner will be served each night to participants, many exciting experiments that show kids how cool God's creation is, lots of engaging crafts, and energetic praise and worship - all complete with kayaks, tents, pine trees, and camping gear!

This year, we have chosen to conduct a Penny Push to benefit the Potato Project, where every nickel we raise will purchase one pound of produce to feed America's hungry. Our goal is to raise enough to purchase 10,000 pounds of food! Start saving your loose change now!

If you want your kids to go on an action-packed, adrenaline-filled expedition to Camp E.D.G.E. -where kids learn to experience and discover God everywhere, then register your sweeties at this site:

http://cokesburyvbs.com/firstkids/ce

Just click on the Participant Signup button, fill in the fields, and submit the info.
Once you have registered, I will send you all the informtaion you need.
See you there!

The best part? Your kids will be safely tucked away learning about God with kids their ages while you and your hubby cruise the riverwalk, er, whatever you call it.

Here's to kicking a bad habit...

This post is for me. You can read it. Just remember, before you get all upset, I told you it was for me.

It's coming up on the one year mark of an important maturation milestone in my life.
It was in mid August of last year that I made a painful decision to let it all go.

In truth, the decision itself wasn't too painful, that was the easy part. It was arriving at the place where everything had come to an ugly head and had to be acknowledged and put to pasture that made it so painful, but I digress...

I was nearly 30 years old and still found myself completely encapsulated by your opinion of me. I allowed it to define me, govern me, ridicule me.

Do you know how hard it is to get inside other people's minds and make assumptions about what they must be thinking and then allow that be what summarizes your relationship with them?
Complicated doesn't come close...

So I let it go. I figured, 'Why try, in vain, to complete this vicious cycle? I have already read this book and the ending never changes.'

Seriously, you didn't even know you were thinking these heinous things about me, did you? :)

If you did know that you were thinking poorly of me, save it, because I am free of that now.
(The silliness of this post isn't beyond me, I get it - I do.)

But this is a depiction of the prison that was my mind.
And now, it's not.
I hate to create the impression that I have stopped trying altogether.
I care deeply about my relationships. I have friendships that date back to early elementary that are fine and dandy. I still care, but I care on a different level. One that doesn't destroy me when people are people. I no longer meddle and mangle and labor for friendships.

The friendships that have survived - simply put - have survived.
Those that are now distant, are distant.
I have not changed in my capacity to be a friend, to have a friend, to opt out of unhealthy friendships, or to buy into fruitful ones.

AND, what's more is that none of it makes me a failure. None of it makes me.
It is nice to be free from the self-imposed dronings of drama. Life is nicer.

I am one year clean. One year more independent. One year closer to the person I have always wanted to be.

See? I told you that you weren't interested.

1/2-day off

On my first 1/2 day off in two weeks, I cooked a meal. A meal large enough to have healthy left-overs for 3-4 days. I haven't cooked a real meal in - I am ashamed to say how long.
Life is oodles of fun. Life is oodles of busy. Life is oodles of good.

My kids and I are going swiming with a friend and her kids for the rest of my 1/2 day off - then tonight I have to work from 6-11pm.

Oh and by the way that brings me to another post.
The 2nd and 4th Fridays of each summer month, our church hosts a Kids' Night Out. Consider it my very affordable gift to you. Since it appears as though I will have to continue working them on my day off...
Bring your kids. Go on a date. Have a girls night, minus me. :(

Really. You should try it - it's loads of fun!
When you haven't had any days off in over two weeks, a half-day feels like it's almost enough.
Tomorrow is my first complete day off in two weeks... I'll practically be on vacation...

<<<<< life in rewind <<<<<<

Ok again - I need a new camera. Still don't know if that would fix what's going on with the operator. They are beautiful in any degree of fuzz though, don't you think?
This was taken at my brother's wedding in April 2009.


Wow! My brother's wedding.



Dress Rehearsal. Gosh - they are perfect!!


Heehee! Valentine's Day!


What a precious pucker face! (Say that 3x)


A new four letter word in our home... HOMEWORK !!
(**&%#^@) Circa December 2008.


Avery and her broken nose all ready for Dance.

She loves to lick the batter off the spoon.

Ahhhh.... Fall! Circa Thanksgiving 2008.

What's a leaf pile without a dog?

Here are some shots that should've been up on my blog long ago. I have no regrets though. by not getting a round TUIT, my procrastination only makes reliving the moment that much sweeter...

Avery's first dance recital. 15 seconds of fame. Or something. :) May 2009

Cupcakes after graduation. I can only hope and pray he chooses the same method of celebration in 12 years...

Jaron's Kindergarten Graduation and the two angels God sent us to get him from point A to B... Those women earned e-v-e-r-y penny. God love 'em. May 2009.

The REAL Dukes of Hazzard

This first picture is blurry for two reasons: 1.) My camera is a bit...err...lacklustre. 2.) This Mustang can really BOOK it! Chris, the dear soul that he is, thought it would be oh so much more fun if he removed the speed governor on the kids' 'stang. I have to literally RUN to keep up with it. Safe, much?

See that giant gap in his mouth? I tell you, the boy is going to have a plank tooth!

The kids have been having so much fun just playing together in the backyard. Somebody pinch me! Last Summer, it was cats and dogs ALL SUMMER LONG. I was a stay-at-home mom then and was able to have plenty of playdates to keep them from bickering with each other. At a moment's notice when the kids would start to get on each other's nerves, I could just invite some friends over and we got a much needed change of pace.

Now I work and they are just the right age to get along famously, so I guess that just goes to show that God knows just what we need, huh? I wouldn't be able to host a playdate now even if I really needed to...

Some things never change. I couldn't get Jaron to wait long enough to snap a shot with his Momma. So this one with Avery is all there is.

dirty laundry and perspective

Last week, Chris's first cousin committed suicide.
Why do people do it? The funeral was filled with despair.
The last funeral Chris and I attended was also a suicide. It was in the same chapel. All he could say was, 'I have sat in here too many times.'

Jaron has been struggling emotionally. As great as his medicine was for the first 2 months he took it, it was equally as awful for the last 3 weeks he took it.
There is nothing quite so painful as watching your little boy crouch in the corner for days on end and cry all afternoon for no reason at all. All he could say is, "I am just so sad."
He also started saying things like, "I wish I'd never been born." and other things that would just break your heart.
He has been a lot of things in his life, but never depressed.
We took him off the medicine and are waiting it out to see what needs to happen next.

Chris's boss found out that he has been trying to get hired on with the fire department and questioned him about it. Apparently, he's getting further along in the process of getting hired because they called his current employer for a reference. Who does that?!?
It appears as if there is a giant target on his back at work now. Who knows how much longer he will be employed there? Through it all, God will take care of us.

I got rear-ended in my great new car. My kids were with me - that had to be the worst part. It doesn't seem like such a big deal in the scope of things, but it still really bummed me out.

So things really are going pretty smoothly despite all the not-as-lustrous things that have happened.
I know that these things just happen. Well, maybe not these things. But things.

Coping with these types of hardships is never easy, but when you can gain some true prespective - you can handle it better.

My perspective came in the form of a 28-year old mother and wife who is terminal with cancer and is hoping for a transplant match so she might be bought another year and a half of life... that year and a half would put her in a position to celebrate her child's 3rd birthday, but not likely the 4th. Many would say from a logical standpoint, "Why waste the organ if it's pretty certain that it'll only last a year and a half?" But she intends to live that last year and a half in such a way that would make it count.
THAT kind of perspective puts all the sour in anybody's life on notice.
It really is all about making it count.

So yeah, it's been tough - but I am getting to be here, you know. That, all by itself, is a gift. I would far rather go through these things with the ones I love most - than to have them have go through it without me.

At the end of my days here on earth, there will have been valleys. I guess it's the way we appreciate the sunshine on the other side of the valley that makes our moments count.

Thank you, Father, for the sunshine. Thank You for leading us through the valleys. Thank You for always being on the other side, regardless of what we learned going through it.

Something about Summertime

...makes me love being in a swimsuit - if only for the most microscopic of moments.

...brings back all the coconut-scented memories of being a teenager hanging out with my friends and drinking lemon berry slushes as we cruised around wishing we had something to do.

...keeps me longing for that all too familiar summer tune. I can chronologically remember summers past with a certain tune playing in the background for each year.

As a mom, I get to watch my kids experience a slip'n'slide, splash in the pool, go to afternoon matinees, beg for popsicles, wear their underwear - and ONLY their underwear - to play in the backyard, sleep until 10, watch tv, build entire Lego sets, do kid things, make giant pillow and blanket tents in the living room, squirm while I slather sunblock all over them, go to grandmommy's house, go to bed late, live with dirty feet and dirty faces...


It's no wonder everybody loves the summer.

kids

i think i have started a thousand posts this way - but i never grow accustomed to watching them grow up. i am always filled with wonderment at the wonder of their lives and how blessed i am to be a mainstay in their audience.

i just snuck into my little boy's room to kiss him goodnight, again.
he wasn't in his bed. instead, there was a giant man with stinky armpits in his bed.
i kissed him anyway.
he grows too fast for his misty-eyed momma...

she is more into pedicures than tea parties now. she says, "thankth for the ped-ee-koorth, momma" because it's always a 'ped-ee-koor' whether it's fingers or toes. but there is a little bit of little left in her. tonight she asked me not to paint her right thumbnail. i asked her, 'why?' she said, 'becauth it'th the thumb i uthe for thucking."

goodness - i hope she never loses her lisp. it has to be the cutest thing ever.

so he's now a first grader, with all the social angst and emotional turmoil that comes with it. he is nervous about going to VBS tomorrow. he's worried that he won't have any friends. i've never had a conversation about that with him before - he's always been excited to tackle a new peer group - literally and figuratively.

she'll be going into pre-k 4 and as long as she thinks her outfit is cute - she's happy. she has been putting waaaay too much tinkerbell eyeshadow on lately and there may be a wee bit too much sass in her walk, but i think i'll let that slide - for now. :)

they are the reason my sun shines.

yes. thank heavens for little boys and little girls.