Rather than using a spoon...

Avery scoops mashed potatoes off her plate with her hand and licks the gobs off her fingers. When asked to stop and use her spoon she says, "It just tastes better this way."
She is soooo my daughter.

3 Weeks In

I have finally come to the realization that my head might not explode.
It only took 3 weeks. 3 amazingly-crazy-so-chaotic-I-don't-wanna-talk-about-it weeks.

I am so glad that I have reached this point after only 3 weeks.
Had it been 4, my head really might have exploded.

I can say this, nothing - N-O-T-H-I-N-G can break me now.

The Rock Collector

He's playing teeball. It's pretty cute. He whacks away at the tee, hard enough to make the ball hop off the tee and bounce past the pitcher's mound. Then he prances at an ever-so-non-chalant speed while his entire family roars from the stands, reminding him that he's supposed to be in a hurry...
Once he arrives at first base, which is nothing short of miraculous, considering his not-in-any-kind-of-hurry shuffle step, he decidedly hops onto the base as if to say "Safe..."
Then he proceeds to kick at the white chalk markings on the ground sending clouds of powder into the opposing team's dugout.

He plays in the outfield when the other team's at bat. The waaaay outfield. There he may watch an airplane as it crosses the wide blue yonder - or he may find an incredible rock. He has kicked at the ground so consistently that he created a crater. I have watched him trip on his own crater. He has now decided that hole-digging is best when done off the ballfield. So cute he is!

It is everything you think of when you think of having a boy. Dirty cleats. Grass stains. Miserably cold bleachers too early on a Saturday morning. Screaming your son's name at the top of your lungs, knowing the sense of pride that wells within you is even louder than your voice.
I love him. I love being Momma to my boy!

A boy is...
Trust with dirt on its face,
Beauty with a cut on its finger,
Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair,
and the hope of the future with a frog in its pocket.

static

everything that serves to replace thoughts centered on God and fulfilling His purpose is in direct defiance to God.

static abounds.

i need to remember to forget the little fires that are being set all around me. they are diversions.
the real chore? to stay my eyes on what i'm here for - everything else just. doesn't. matter.

so let's get to the Jesus part of this already.

Whew.

Last Thursday was our Spring program at the kids' school.
It was my last program there. Three years. Wow.
My kids made me a huge canvas covered in artful fingerprints. Not just my kids, but my 100 kids...
Each fingerprint was turned into a flower, ladybug, butterfly, music note, etc.
Every child at the school has a fingerprint on that masterpiece, it is beautiful!
Oh how they will be missed!
They presented the canvas to me at the end of our program then the staff at my school took me to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner (because it took them about 3 minutes to figure out how much I love hot wings...)

Friday was my last day. It was a hard day. I alternated between being sad and tearful and then making myself detatch from the emotions of leaving a job I have loved so much. It was easier than I thought. That must be because of how excited I am about what lies ahead for us.

Saturday was also a big day. My brother and sister-in-law-to-be had a wedding shower, which Shan and I helped host. That took up the better part of the day. It was a great shower. I enjoyed it!

Saturday evening entailed a bachelorette party for Sara. I was home by 10:45pm. I am so old!!
I really, really love Sara. My brother waited a long, long time to meet a girl like her and she is perfect for him. I am truly excited to add her to our family and I cannot wait to get to know her better.

Saturday night held a kid with a fever and sleeplessness for momma.

Sunday was church day and then I saw Shan and Kari off, shopped for groceries, cooked dinner, washed my car, cleaned the house, loaded my car with all the stuff I'm moving into my new office tomorrow, and lastly - email and blog checking.

Tomorrow I begin. A new job. A new start. New. New everything. My kids will be on Spring Break. I will not. They will be hanging out with my parents all week for Spring Break while I work. This is also our childcare situation for my full-time schedule when school resumes.
I plan to spend tomorrow setting up my office and jump right in tomorrow evening with a church council meeting.

I look forward to this. I do. The jitters began today though.
Tomorrow will be a good day.

Priority #1: Find the coffee pot.
Priority #2: Find the bathroom.
Priority #3: Knock their socks off.

Wish me luck.

Happy Birthday LA!!!

I am soooooo sorry I missed the opportunity yesterday to expose your 29th birthday to all!!
It is your first 29th birthday - most people turn 29 several times...
So this is a moment in your life worth teasing.
I miss you.
I love hearing about all the terrific things that are happening in your life.
I am wishing we lived closer, that we were closer.

I hope your day was happy and that this year holds all the growth you are praying for (except the Maggie Moo's kind.)

Day 4

We are on Day 4 of my son's new medication.

I have been reluctant to talk about it because of the stigmas that are often associated with taking ADHD meds. I swore I would not do anything like this until it began to interfere with productivity and learning at school. And that has begun to happen, so we have started the medicine.

So far, he's doing really, really well.

Pros:
He's flying through his school work with fewer careless errors. He's able to focus in the classroom, rather than looking a bit like a ping pong ball. He's listening. He has really taken off reading this week. I don't think he has had to stand or move around the room to complete schoolwork at all this week. He is eager to take his medicine each morning and says he would rather take it than not. I think his self-esteem is improving. He has known his activity level was too much, but has had a hard time suppressing it by himself. He has not lost his spunk. He apparently sees the benefit, and I am going to try to remember that when I think about the...

Cons:
He hardly eats all day, when the medicine wears off - look out refrigerator!! He eats everything in sight. He has a pretty tough slump in the afternoon when the medicine begins to taper off. He gets a little emotional - not meltdown-level emotional, but still teary. The level of energy he exhibits in the evening has varied over the 4 days. Some days, he drags. Other days, he boings everywhere with all his pent up energy. On the first day, we had issues with aggressive behavior, but not since the first day have we dealt with that.

I think this is helping him.
I still struggle with the idea that I am allowing medicine to tamper with the chemicals in his brain. I have gone back and forth over that issue.
But when I saw his self-esteem go south and he didn't want to go to school anymore, I knew that help is what we needed.
So we're trying it.
Keep my little man in your prayers!

kids and stuff

My kids are truly what makes my heart go pitter-pat!

At the ages of 4 and 5 we are going through some pretty fun stuff right now.

J. has an ever increasing savor for life. He lives each minute well.
He's in teeball. He's reading books like crazy. His top front teeth are about to wobble out of his head!
He's loving Kindergarten - most days. Today a little girl called him a name, so today school was not the best.
He looked so sad when he got home from school today that I kept trying to get him to talk. He didn't want to. He finally told me Madison had called him a 'meanie-head.' I totally understood his anguish. :)

Soapbox:
First of all, he's not a meanie-head. Second of all, the crime she accused him of was not his. He had kept a bubble in his mouth and did not cause his table to be told to line up last - it was somebody else at his table who made the noise. He has recovered from the trauma of such awful name-calling. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.

Avery is pure spunk! My little angel who never does anything wrong has been taken by body snatchers. The body snatchers were kind enough to leave a very opinionated 4-year old in her place who bears a strong resemblance to my Avery. But I assure you, this is not my little girl... ;)

I have all the help a mom could ever want cooking dinner each night. I begin to set out the ingredients for what I plan to cook and suddenly a little step-stool appears, as if by magic, right beside where I stand at the stove and is promptly followed by a little girl who desperately wants to help. SO cute!

I also get corrected every time I make a mistake or say the wrong word or even take a new street that we don't usually travel down.

My makeup no longer belongs to me - it has instead opted to drape itself across the face of a much younger, much prettier mini-me. More importantly, my perfumes and lotions have grown legs and taken up residence in my daughter's bathroom.

If I dare sit in the living room floor, that is as good as an invitation for tackling, tickling, and the like.

The long and short of it, a day in the life of the mother of 4 and 5-year olds is good. Really good.

Job and Why?

It seems like lately I have been ruminating on a particular thought or stream of thoughts.
Why so blessed? I mean I am glad we're blessed, but what have we done to deserve this?

How did it happen that I was born in a nation where 'plentiful' is the expectation?
How on earth was I chosen to be the recipient of such amazing parents?
Why did God see fit to bless me with unbelievably awesome kids?

We see the news stories, but not the real truth.
We read clippings, but we haven't experienced true lack.
Even when we were starting out and had an American sense of living 'bare bones,' we still had more than most.

I have never gone without. Not really without. We've struggled and we've had to make tough choices, but there was always a choice to be made.

How does it happen that there are places where there is no choice? There are no provisions. There is no way out. How?

I find myself torn by this stark reality.
My snow globe perfect world cannot squeeze the scope and the cruelness of this world in its entirity into the seamless Norman Rockwell portrait I have created.

But it exists.

I have been reading the book of Job to make an attempt at reconciling these truths.

You see? Job seemingly never did anything wrong in the sight of those around him.

He was honest inside and out, a man of his word, who was totally devoted to God and hated evil with a passion. Job 1 (the message)

He reaped huge blessings due to his work ethic and consistent good choices. He gave God all the glory. His riches were abundant. When his world came crashing down, his friends sat speechless at his feet for over a week, not knowing where to begin. They could think of nothing he had done to deserve such a cruel fate. He lost all of his children, his livestock, his field hands, his shepherds, his health, and every semblance of wealth he had accrued was taken from him.

It was an attack of the devil. Satan's primary goal was not for Job to suffer loss, although no doubt he was thrilled to see Job's suffering. Satan's target was Job's faith. He wanted Job to denounce God's goodness.

Even Job felt he had lived a God-honoring life. His only mistake so far as I can tell by the Scripture was ultimately to question God.

How many times have I sat in question of God's judgement? Why me God? What have I done to deserve this?

To think that this has been my attitude about anything at any point in my life is a little embarrassing to say the least - especially in light of what people the world over experience everyday.

My life has been great. Better than great really.
I have so much. Even if I didn't have a truly loving and generous husband, two terrific and totally healthy kids, parents and siblings who still want to be a part of my daily life (even though I am basically a peel most of the time), a great big handful of friends who have stuck around through the dark times and the bright times because they saw something in me worth loving - even if I had none of those things...

I have God. I have His love and acceptance. His grace and mercy reign in my life.

When you take a look into the life of Job, it's hard to reconcile the truth about his life, the great and repeated losses he endured. Why was that allowed to happen?
In the end, Job is a striking example of how God is at the beginning and end of all things, and though it may be hard to see, He is even in the midst of things.

It is still hard for me to understand why bad things happen to good people. I may never solve the riddle of why certain people are born into such poverty, never to rise out of it. Tragedy is all around us.

Why? The answer may be that it is not ours to ask the question.

It is ours to trust our God, knowing that He is above and beneath, before and beyond.
He just is. And He is just.

just a reminder

For those of you who were planning to come to Wendy's baby shower:


When: Saturday, March 7th at 8:00pm
Where: Baker Street
Why: It's probably her last time to get out before Ben gets here!!
Why*2: You probably need to get out as badly as she does!
What to bring: Yourself AND/OR a giftcard for baby

I asked Wendy's husband where they buy most of their diapers and he said TARGET.
Just a thought...
:)