I apologize.

• for leaving dead wallpaper on my blog for so long
• for not updating about Kelly Dunn - although I have no news. I'll call his wife today and try to get the scoop. Keep praying, I am pretty sure he will be in for a long recovery.
• for not posting about any of the sweet, cute wonderful things my precious kids are doing these days.

Murder, she wrote.

worms again. will we ever be rid of them?

It has been a while since I blogged anything worthy of note.
My computer, dear, precious, never caused any trouble computer, has been ailing.
It started with annoying little quirks but quickly spiralled into something far more disconcerting involving alarms and a sputtering, at times cussing, computer.
(I wasn't the one cussing. For the record, it was the computer.)

I had a worm.trojan.virus.malware.adware.cookie meltdown.

I know nothing about computers, but my dad told me that if I emailed anyone, they could get my bug. (no Wendy - I didn't spread my bug to you, it was fixed by then...)

Anyway, after a hard fought battle and much deleting and removal of extras - we are up and running again.

Hopefully you haven't been on pins and needles waiting for the next blog. I will surely return with many great things to say in the near future. You can bet your sweet buns on that.

Prayer request

Please pray for Kelly Dunn and his family. You may know him by the name "Zorro." He has been a friend of mine and Chris' for many years.
He and his 3 kids were involved in a car accident over the weekend.
Kelly sustained head trauma and is currently in the ICU.
The front end of his vehicle was shoved up underneath a larger vehicle, from what I understand.
The children appear to have no injuries.
It is expected that he will be in the hospital for several weeks.

Please make this a matter of prayer - as a good father, friend, and Christian brother needs our support.

Why I love Sundays...

The shrieking of my alarm clock is not what wakes me up.
I get to slowly sip my first cup of Jo.
And then another one, if I want.
I take a loooong, steamy shower, which may or may not involve confronting the monopoly of leg hair that has accumulated during the previous week.
I put curlers in my little girl's hair, and I can even take the time to paint her nails.
I have enough time to make something real for my kids for breakfast.
I get to see my peeps at church.
I get to worship God - like I am the only one sitting at His feet.
The sounds of football games sweep through my house for hours on end. There may not be any other sound that relaxes me like the sound of a good football game.
The kids play out in the backyard all afternoon, with only minor sichoos needing my attention.
I clean, do laundry, and feel incredibly productive.
I light candles because I know we'll be home long enough to enjoy them.

My list gets checked, and checked, and checked.
Today, I checked these:
1. Mending: basket of clothes.
2. Vacuum under bedroom and living room furniture.
3. Go through kids' closets, removing warm weather, smallish, and ruined clothing.
4. Reorganize pots and pans.

My house sparkles like a model home - if only for a little while on Sunday afternoons.
The dishes are done. The backpacks are ready for school. All laundry is put away. Clothes for tomorrow are ironed and set out neatly on the couch. My house smells like autumn spices and cleanliness. Yummmmm....

Sunday is the one day of the week that I feel like I've got it all together.
And to reward myself, I have drawn up a piping hot bubble bath that I will soak in right after the Cowboy game ends.

See? I love Sundays.

Some days

I don't know what it is, or why it is, but some days I wake up and I feel overwhelmed by the large-ness of everything.
The immensity of our world and all the people and problems in it, the expansive nature of it all.
I find myself feeling so small, so insignificant, so uncertain.

Then as quickly as that first thought of the 'hugeness of things and the smallness of me' enters my mind, God reminds me of how very much larger and how very much more in control He is.
And I am safe.

Thank You! Thank You, my great Father!

ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.

An old commercial jingle - most of you probably don't remember.

It is as if I will never be able to give any solid details about all this transition that I have been harping about for months.
Mostly because there has been no change, but I do know that God has been preparing our hearts and preparing the hearts of individuals in the path that lies ahead.
I know God is going before us to make whatever happens happen in a way that proves to be successful for our family as a whole and for Chris and I individually.

I do not remember a time when I was forced to put so much trust in God. I am a control freak. All this waiting and believing has been taxing to my flesh, but has benefited my relationship with God and my husband.

So to catch you up on what's new-ish:

I submitted an application again to our local school district for an open elementary position - not music, just general classroom. The district requires you to submit a letter of interest and other necessary application related items for each job you desire to apply for - so Monday was spent working toward that end. Maybe an interview is on the horizon... 3rd time's the charm, I hear.

I have yet another certification exam tomorrow. This one will get me in the door as an English teacher in Middle School. Lord willing.

Another prospect has been brewing and may even serve to get my family back in church - my whole family. Sigh. Too wonderful a thought for words and the true desire of my heart. Having my husband next to me each and every Sunday.

We haven't heard anything back from the Fire Department, but hopefully God will provide us with a job for me first so the transition does not require us to sell our house.

We also don't want to take the kids out of their school right now. If I am to find employment, I am up a creek with afternoon care for my kids. Any ideas?
I will need someone who could pick them up from school at 1:30pm every day and keep them until I could come pick them up after work. And of course I would pay whoever that person was.
Please send your suggestions this way...

That's pretty much it in a nutshell. I hate to be that annoying friend who drones on endlessly about all the transition that will seemingly never take place, but I happen to believe that God's plan for us is near and within reach. It is something I have been praying for for a long, long time and I feel like I'll explode if I can't let my thoughts collect cohesively somewhere.

So it's lengthy blogs with no conclusive information. Thanks for scrolling and scratching your head with me.

the big exam...already

he came home tonight after working 12 hours.
he kissed me and sweetly inquired about my weekend with God and the girls.
i cooked dinner while he showered.
we began playing candyland as a family and were enjoying being with one another.

and, as so often is the case, the phone rang. somebody else's dinner and "too long of a wait line" became more important than our precious family time.
he was told he had to go back to the restaurant.

i could understand if it were an organ transplant, a fire, or even a bank robbery.
but it's shrimp and salad.

i said nothing. he said nothing. we know the drill.
he knew that when he finally got to come back home, the kids would be asleep. and it would amount to one more day lost.

then something excruciating happened. the kids began to cry - huge, huge tears. they begged him not to go. and he really, really thought about it.

i saw a man's heart break tonight. and there was nothing i could say or do to make it better.

----------- finding joy in the midst of adversity----------

the words that were spoken and the wisdom that was imparted this weekend at the women's retreat have resonated in my heart, some i have not yet reconciled with those things i have believed all my life - other words came as a soothing balm for my soul.

i needed to go. the topic needed to be joy. i needed to experience what i experienced.

i didn't expect to have a "joy test" waiting for me at nearly the exact moment i arrived back home. but sure enough, there it was.

over the past weeks and months so many trials have come and gone. in the midst of it, i have let joy, the essence of faith and trust in God, quietly slip from the forefront of my consciousness.

so joy is what's been tucked away. hidden. and finding joy is what will become my focus.

tonight i thanked him for being the kind of man who has sacrificed himself for his family over and over again. a lesser man would have thrown in the towel long ago. i kissed him goodbye and began tickling his crying babies. their tears were drowned out by their laughter.

it's not a big deal - all by itself. but it is those little things that slowly erode our joy.
tonight one point was added to the column of joy.

and so it goes. in the little things that serve to knock us back and steal the stuffins right out of us, we have to reach inside and decide to remain steady on our path, trusting that God sees the bigger picture and that His desire for us is good.

what a wonderful promise!

thank You God for this weekend, and for the wonderful ladies who toiled to make it what it was.
their hearts of service brought us all joy and, i know, made the heart of God glad.

A peek.

There is no way to say 'Thanks' sufficiently for the way you captured our family - but thank you, thank you for these memories, Jenny!

Because you're itching to know...

I wound up being Sarah Palin for Halloween.

Palin poof in the hair, Palin bangs, glasses, blazer, knee length skirt, and peep toe shoes - complete with 4 McCain/Palin buttons to make sure there were no questions...
(Does Sarah Palin wear her own political buttons?)

It was easy.
It was free.
The preschoolers at my school told me their parents voted for me.

All in all, the only drawback was wearing panty hose all day...