the big exam...already

he came home tonight after working 12 hours.
he kissed me and sweetly inquired about my weekend with God and the girls.
i cooked dinner while he showered.
we began playing candyland as a family and were enjoying being with one another.

and, as so often is the case, the phone rang. somebody else's dinner and "too long of a wait line" became more important than our precious family time.
he was told he had to go back to the restaurant.

i could understand if it were an organ transplant, a fire, or even a bank robbery.
but it's shrimp and salad.

i said nothing. he said nothing. we know the drill.
he knew that when he finally got to come back home, the kids would be asleep. and it would amount to one more day lost.

then something excruciating happened. the kids began to cry - huge, huge tears. they begged him not to go. and he really, really thought about it.

i saw a man's heart break tonight. and there was nothing i could say or do to make it better.

----------- finding joy in the midst of adversity----------

the words that were spoken and the wisdom that was imparted this weekend at the women's retreat have resonated in my heart, some i have not yet reconciled with those things i have believed all my life - other words came as a soothing balm for my soul.

i needed to go. the topic needed to be joy. i needed to experience what i experienced.

i didn't expect to have a "joy test" waiting for me at nearly the exact moment i arrived back home. but sure enough, there it was.

over the past weeks and months so many trials have come and gone. in the midst of it, i have let joy, the essence of faith and trust in God, quietly slip from the forefront of my consciousness.

so joy is what's been tucked away. hidden. and finding joy is what will become my focus.

tonight i thanked him for being the kind of man who has sacrificed himself for his family over and over again. a lesser man would have thrown in the towel long ago. i kissed him goodbye and began tickling his crying babies. their tears were drowned out by their laughter.

it's not a big deal - all by itself. but it is those little things that slowly erode our joy.
tonight one point was added to the column of joy.

and so it goes. in the little things that serve to knock us back and steal the stuffins right out of us, we have to reach inside and decide to remain steady on our path, trusting that God sees the bigger picture and that His desire for us is good.

what a wonderful promise!

thank You God for this weekend, and for the wonderful ladies who toiled to make it what it was.
their hearts of service brought us all joy and, i know, made the heart of God glad.