Yuckola.

Sometimes when you feel so yucky for so many days, you start to feel like you'll never get your energy back.
We (the kids and I) have been drained and feeling bad for most of the week.
(There are definite drawbacks to working in a preschool.)
Yesterday, my energetic little man fell asleep at 5:30pm. I kept thinking he'd wake up and keep me up all night. He slept all evening and all night long.
I finally took the kids to see a doctor today.

Strep Throat.
All three of us.
NO WONDER!!!
Sometimes its just helps to have a reason why.

I guess we'll be on the road to recovery in no time.
Thank the good Lord for antibiotics!

Something for everyone.

Last night was our End of the Year program at school.
On the one hand, I think it is something to celebrate that you are near enough the end of the school year to have a program designated for that. So cheers everyone!
On the other hand, it is, most generally speaking, the music teacher's burden to bear. That makes the culmination of the school year program kinda exhausting for me.
It turned out "Through the roof CUTE!" and was, by far, my most favorite program ever!

It could be my favorite so far because this was the very first program we've had that my son didn't need a teacher assigned to him and no one else - just in case he decided to bring down the house...
He did really, really well. I watched him out of the corner of my eye and saw how he was loving it!! How rewarding that was!

And for you photogs out there, I included a slide show in this year's program. The parents were really into that.
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A's tummy bug is gone. Or is it? She threw up today, but it seemed like a gag and then throw up - less tummy-buggish. I spare no detail, do I?
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THERE IS NO SCHOOL ON FRIDAY!!!!
(Insert Hallelujah! Chorus here)
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Chris's vacation is finally over.
I am a jerk for including the word 'finally' in that sentence.
I am so completely worn out by the end of one of his vacations. It's not like he's inconvenient or anything, I would hate for my words to be interpreted that way. I LOVE spending time with him. We had a completely wonderful time together. But by the time his vacations are over, I am usually part-sad, part-glad. I am so exhausted and ready to get back into our routine!
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My son will be turning 5 years old in one month and one day.
The days are long, the years are short.
I can't believe it!
He is more cuddly and lovable than ever - and I find myself having more and more adult-like conversations with him lately.
He thinks about things that are so far outside my realm, he's already beyond my mental capabilities most days. :0
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I had to go to the bathroom with a little buddy today. Little A. was at work with me for part of the day. She smiled at me and said, "Momma, I love your big ol' booty."
Tomorrow's menu - Slim fast.

Jinxed.

At times I feel as though my kids are only sick on Sunday.
I also crave Chick-fil-A all day on Sunday.
It would seem that I can always think of a reason to need something from Hobby Lobby on Sunday.
What is that about?

BTW, A. has a tummy bug.
On Sunday.
Go figure.

Thoughts about the week.

I have thought and thought about my last post and all of your wonderful and helpful comments.
I don't think being a working mom will turn me into a sub-par mom.
I already work more than 25 hours a week.
I almost always have anxiety about situations I don't know first hand.
I have never worked full time as a mom.
I have been a full time mom.
I have worked full time.
But never both concurrently.

I think that's the problem.

I am willing to do whatever it takes to make my family work because I think that's what families do. You do what you have to do. And you live life. And you love each other through the hard stuff.
There is a good chance that there will be no other option but for me to get a full time job.
And I know that I will be able to do it, if I have to - I have several friends that have managed to work full time with young children. And they have done it well, gracefully and graciously.
God has given them the internal fortitude and grace. His grace will be no less sufficient for me.

I still have hope that this last resort is not the plan we arrive at. My heart's desire is to be with my kids for at least one more year. But I do not think I can articulate all the reasons right here on this blog that I am prepared for this eventuality.
Our life situation is potentially changing.
It's an exciting time for us - rife with growth and opportunity.

There are times, I have found, when one must sacrifice something to be able to arrive at the next level.

Who knows what tomorrow holds?
I do know that I have been given a free will and with that, I get to make choices.
But I am also bound by my covenant to my husband, to be his helpmate.

I believe that the time may have indeed come in our family when the best kind of parent I can be for my children is to be the kind of helpmate my husband needs me to be.

It could only last for a year.
It could be a thought dismissed by tomorrow morning.
It could turn into my career.

In any case, His grace will be sufficient for me.

Whinefest.

Jobs were posted on our local ISD's website yesterday.
Several.
I could apply for one of them.
I could stand a decent chance at getting one.
I don't want to.
I don't want to leave my too-perfect-for-words job, where I get to actually kiss my kids and do art projects with them every day.
I get to see my kids interact with their friends and hug them when they are having a hard day.

My job pays even more than my paycheck tells me because it is the PERFECT job for being a wannabe stay-at-home mom.

I don't want to go to a different campus.
I don't want to depend on someone else to drop off or pick up my kids, even if that someone is my wonderful Momma - which really would be best case scenario, if I HAD to go to work full time... But I want those memories. I want to be the one who asks them first 'How was your day?' or "What did you learn about today?" For some reason, that defines a big part of motherhood for me.
See? I am whining about being overly blessed here...
My Mom is ready and willing to fill whatever shoes we need her to fill, because that's what she does. And she could probably fill my shoes better than I could. Not everybody has that kind of availability, or Top-Notch childcare.
The problem is, I don't want to need childcare.
I want to be with my babies.

I went into the admin building today and my heart just sank.
To say that I was devastated would be overstating it - but even still there was a definite heaviness in my spirit.
We have not heard anything back on other job-search related fronts, and this is plan B.
So I asked my questions to the really nice lady in the HR department and I have been searching online tonight for further course of action.
My heart is heavy.
I don't feel ready for this.

I am so ready for the school year to end, but the question lingers - Is this my last few weeks to get to participate in my children's education in a really hands-on way?
I know that once I start to full-time work, it will not stop. So this really could be it.

Whatever happens will happen for reasons my mind can neither predict nor understand.
I am not the Writer of the Script here, so I will put my trust snugly in Him and say, "It is well with my soul."

Before too long, I might even start to believe that...

Gig 'em!

La, I am BEGGING you to read this post to John!!!

iMoron.

Would it label me a 'moron' if I told you that I spent almost all evening registering for an itunes account?
idon't ever want to have to go through that again.
ineeded a song for work.
ididn't find that song.
ispent all day trying to find it.
igive up.

If I am ever bombarded by so many i-followed by whatever word they can think of's - I might spontaneously combust.

iGrrrrr!

That is all.

Word Verification.

I must be the worst word verification typist in the world.
All I have to do is COPY WHAT IS THERE.
That's not hard.
But my brain, faithful friend, tries to make sense of the letters that lay (or is it lie? Oooo! I love double-entendres!!) before me.
My mind plays tricks on me.
Before I know it, "spqicnl" turns out looking more like 'special.'

I think I have to type most of those thingies 3 or 4 times.
And THAT'S assuming I don't just give up before my comment is made...


And that, my friends, just became the most pointless post in the history of all blogdom.
Thank you for your time.

Who's fooling who?

Chris bought a scale.
Instantly, I had buyer's remorse.
I step on the scale 19 times a day.
I go to the bathroom and take my shoes off and step on it again, hoping the result will be dramatically different.
This scale measures to the ounce.
I now know precisely how many ounces my bladder will hold...
(I'm sorry, is that too much information?)
You know what I discovered about my sneaky little self'?
When I get on the scale, my natural response is to suck my gut in.
Yeah, I'll bet I'm foolin' that scale.

I've been working a lot in the yard, including lots of weed pulling, poisoning, and the like.
One whole section of our yard has always been FILLED with dandelions. I sprayed weed poison like crazy on that area last week, but I forgot about something VERY IMPORTANT>>>

A few days after I sprayed, the kids and I ended up on the side of our house, which is usually crawling with little yellow flowers and puffy white orbs.
As we turned the corner I saw tons of little drooping stems, which made me feel like quite the victor over the offending weeds.
At almost the exact moment that my pride was swelling in my chest, little A. shrieked and said, "Mommy, oh no! My wishin' flowers are dead. What happened to my wishin' flowers?"
She ran over to a few of them and tried to straighten them up. After she let them go, they slumped right back down.
I felt so bad.

At just about THAT moment, J. chimed in and said, "Oh man, without our wishin' flowers, how are we gonna make wishes?"
Defeated, I replied, "They'll probably grow back, son. Don't worry."
Then he said, "Good. I know what I'm gonna wish for."

This next part is the part that any self-respecting mother would leave out, but you all know I have no shame.
I asked J, "What was your wish gonna be?"
He answered, "I was gonna wish for a bunch of new mommies."

A little hurt, I asked, "Why do you need a new Mommy?"
He replied, "If I had more Mommies, we could already have eaten dinner. We could also go places quicker."

Like I'm the holdup when it's time to leave the house...

I guess it's a good thing I killed all the wishin' flowers. I had no idea what those little turncoats were wishing for...