Sunday, September 27, 2009 - Day One.

In just a few short hours, Chris will walk through the door and take off his "lobster" shoes for the last time.

Wow. 11 years. Done.

The things we have been praying for, believing for, hoping for, dreaming for, for so long - and today's the day it all ends. Or begins? Yes, it's day one.

Of course, I am fighting back tears. I am ashamed to say that I can't really distinguish whether these tears are filled with joy or with fear.
Joy because everything we have He has planned for years culminates this very day. And it's absolutely wonderful, and scary...
Enter 'fear' that was neither expected nor invited.

How will he be? Will he have regrets? What will the unknown hold for him? For us? Will this work or will it blow up in our faces? Will he enjoy this new career path?

The last time Chris went through a career change was 'never.' It has always been this, in some form or fashion. This is a huge turnabout for him, and he has not always greeted change with open arms. He's a man in his mid 30's who is starting over...
As his wife, I want to be everything he needs, but I am not sure what that is yet.

I also have been very careful not to fret (in his presence) about what this change means for us financially. We have already received our final paycheck. And goodness, that felt so final!
I have no concrete idea when we will get paid, or how much it will be - I am stinking walking on water here, so to speak... :)

And if you know me, then you know what an incredible stretching experience this has been. Somehow, I feel better for it, that somehow - for once in my life - in the midst of all this stretching and trusting and praying and believing - I have actually turned loose of 'my plans' and let God do what only He can do.

Strangely and consequently, the overwhelming sensation that I feel welling up inside is peace. It's not so much a sensation though, because it's more than that. It's an absolute tangible thing. Peace that really, truly, God is in control. He is the Jehovah Jireh for the Ochoa's and has already chartered these waters. He has given us - His children - the privilege of walking out, for His glory, the path that was laid in the foundations of this earth - just for us. How incredible is that?

So just because I don't know what's next... I have peace.

May the God of all Peace rest squarely upon my husband's shoulders in the days that lie ahead. I pray that favor be the pavement upon which Chris walks, and may he find his completeness in your perfect love. When the weight of fear confronts him, may your strength hold him up, O God of Jacob. Amen.