highly trained horticulturist

I went to home depot.
My shrubbery was sick.
I needed advice.
I am now a highly trained and qualified horticulturist on the matter of Indian Hawthornes and fungus.
Who knew?
Who knew keeping a yard healthy would be harder than raising two children from infancy?

1. As I see it, if I do what the plant lady told me, I'll have to wake up early in the morning to water. Hmmmm... An early morning feeding... just like a baby. (Watering at night can aggravate the fungus.)
2. I'll also have to carefully measure this liquid medicine for my shrubs, not unlike measuring Tylenol for small sick children.
3. Then, if the medicine does the trick, I'll have to continue to treat the soil for fungus to ensure that it doesn't return. Roughly akin to the 10-day rule for kid antibiotics.
4. If I am able to get one shrub well, but not the others - the cycle may perpetuate itself - unless I can manage to effectively prune the shrubs so that no part of them touch the others. Yeah - passing sickness through your whole home, the only way to stop it is to quarantine everyone and make the password to exit or enter any room: LYSOL.

I simply did not sign up for another needy anything.
Those poor, poor Indian Hawthornes - they didn't get to choose who their Momma is.
Maybe they'll make it, despite of the odds stacked heavily against them.