if i read this tomorrow and hate what i said, i'll blame it on the medicine i'm taking.
i cannot shake high school.
there are so many things that happened back then that i cannot change.
(you're probably wondering, what? what happened?)
insignificant, petty high school junk happened.
so-and-so dated so-and-so.
so-and-so said this about so-and-so.
i hate so-and-so just because they are.
she's so annoying, i hate her... yada yada yada...
a person needs to be able to graduate and then move away.
if only a few hundred miles...
that's what high school reunions are for.
when you are perhaps the most hated person in your high school, as was the case for me, you should not be subjected to seeing people that hate you all the time.
it wears on you.
part of you hopes that they have grown up and seen high school for what it really was,
then you see the way they still look at you.
ten years later, you have not yet been forgiven for your frailties.
wal-mart isn't safe.
restaurants aren't safe.
no place is safe.
the worst part?
i don't hate anyone.
no one.
i don't even understand why exactly it has happened that so many people dislike me.
it makes me feel like a scab.
so much hate.
one thing i DO hate?
i hate it when people hate me.
i have always tried to make friends, be a friend, etc.
in the end, i have found it to be the case that some people are just hateful.
i guess i just wish i could go to target without being made aware of their hatefulness.
that is all.
10 comments:
Awww...
Admittedly a few years in a different city does make those high school meanies less meaningful. Something about realizing their is a world outside of this town. That school...
The good news is that our challenges are what make us into who we are.
You my friend, are a strong beautiful woman of God. You've been given many giftings and with those giftings come challenges(ie mean girls who see you as a threat). If it weren't for those times, you wouldn't have the heart, compassion and strength you have today. Let their faces be a reminder of who you have become and propel you into even greater challenges.
I know what you mean. Some people just can not see past HS. They still define you by the idiotic things you did. COME ON! We've grown. We are no longer teenagers. We are no longer THAT girl. Don't worry about them, Ang. Their grudges are theirs. You can not make them get over it. You have so many new friends and they all love the person you are.
I don't hate you...
I LOVE YOU!!!!!
Your the most sweet and funny person I have ever met. So genuine you are. Yep your great!
Forget those fools who hate on you! They don't know what they are missing!
I feel your pain. I wasn't exactly "popular" for the right reasons in high school. I was pretty hateful as well as hated. But I was lucky enough to move away and really haven't seen anyone since. Come to think of it, I don't think I ever had many friends in high school that weren't boys. And that's just not appropriate once you're married.(to have other boys as friends)-(oy)
But my most cherished friends have come from knowing the Lord. I have been blessed beyond measure with my Spinach Dip Buddy and her sisser! ;)
You ARE loved! I love your candidness. I love your sense of humor. I love your honesty. I love your "chaos". (It helps me keep mine into perspective) hee-hee And most of all, I love your fraility. It allows me to witness the Great Work that God is doing in you!
So thank you, MY friend. Know that you are LOVED!!!
I'm telling you - WF is the place to be! No one would know you here. =)
a) Thanks for reminding me of the advantages of living away from your hometown.
b) What everyone else said--you are loved. The hateful person--that's their problem.
c) I still haven't recovered from jr. high. Those "mean girls" are still villians in my head and in my soul. I can see that they are not the same person they were then and I no longer wish them evil, but good.
Let me tell you how I feel when I think someone doesn't like me or treats me ugly. Ya ready for this???? I've been treated worse by better people!!! Somehow that makes me feel better. Usually when someone treats you as you are being treated, it's a very simple thing - they are jealous! You are totally precious in my eyes and I love you sooo much!
It is amazing to me how some refuse to grow up.
And then they have children!
Lord, help us!
I love you! Really. And I kinda wanna go punch out some people. I may look small, but I'm scrappy! Let me at 'em!
I agree with meems. good word meems.
Old things pass away and all becomes new. and we always have a reminder of what he saved us from. who you are now and who loves you now is all that matters. I love you so very much.
if those mean girls only knew the you I know...
then again...maybe they do...
jealous!
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