4 years ago today.

I took my second ever positive pregnancy test.
It was one of the best unplanned things that ever happened to me.
Right alongside her brother's positive pregnancy test, that is.

At this point in my life, I cannot imagine that there was ever a time that a positive result could have ever been anything other than pure bliss - but neither of my 'positive test experiences' were any kind of bliss.

I think I will always regret that.
I wish I could have clicked my heels a little more.
How precious and how very planned by God those little lives were.
At the time, I just couldn't see it.

But now I see it.
And I am so glad for them both.
Thank You Father for knowing exactly what I needed, even when I couldn't begin to understand. I love You.

Better Thoughts.

Anyone reading my posts lately must be getting dragged down. Sorry about that.
I guess there are times for all seasons.
Grief. Joy. Abundance. Lack.
Regardless of the season or the circumstances surrounding them, God is God.

Although there are things that are weighty going on, there are also things that bring my spirit into a season of thankfulness.

My children are healthy, brilliant, and crave learning about God.
They are the sparkle in my eye and the bounce in my step.
They absolutely engulf my thoughts and keep a smile on my face.
I love them so.

My husband is turning into a softy in his old age. :)
He is being quite tender with all of us these days. No doubt the realization that life is short and we all are subject to death has been ringing through his thoughts. I don't think you can be faced with the death of a close friend or co-worker and come away without being reminded of the temporal nature of life on this earth. It is never easy though, to let go.
My husband is a good, good man.
I love him so.

My parents are daily coming into town to remodel their new house. I wish I could say that they were living here already, but there is much work to be done before that can happen. They always buy fixer-uppers and each one turns out more beautiful than the one before.
I guess that's why I have never been afraid of hard work. I have seen my parents work hard their whole life. It not only increases your knowledge, by learning how to work with your hands, but it also builds your character and cultivates a sense of accomplishment and makes you appreciate what you have. I don't think God could have given me better parents. They are absolutely wonderful.
I love them so.

My sister is a faithful friend. There have been many days in my life that I have not been the better person in our relationship. She is ever patient, forgiving, and ever waiting for an opportunity to share time with me. I have been blessed to have her as a sister, a friend, and a spiritual mentor.
You don't always get the whole package in a sister. I was blessed with a wonderful sister.
I love her so.

My brother has been going through a phase of growth in his life that many of us have been praying for for a long, long time. He has re-committed his life to God, found a very special little lady, and has found favor and success in his field of employment. I look forward to our conversations. Each time I speak to him, it seems like he gets sweeter and happier. I enjoy spending time with my brother, my friend.
I love him so.

My God has been a constant, faithful friend and a reminder of the unfailing acceptance I have sought for so long. He has taken me and pulled out of me things I didn't know were there. Thoughts that are bigger than my thoughts, He has placed in my mind. Desires that are more selfless than my own desires, He has given me. He refreshes me and causes each day to be new.
I love Him so.

Our friend who had the stroke passed away today.

My closest friend at work (my son's teacher) was taken out of her classroom today and told that her father had just been killed in an accident. I could hear her wailing from shock and grief down the hall.

Tonight, we had planned a party to celebrate her birthday.

It seems like everything changes so drastically, so quickly sometimes.
My heart aches for her today.

Lord, Please comfort my friend.

highly trained horticulturist

I went to home depot.
My shrubbery was sick.
I needed advice.
I am now a highly trained and qualified horticulturist on the matter of Indian Hawthornes and fungus.
Who knew?
Who knew keeping a yard healthy would be harder than raising two children from infancy?

1. As I see it, if I do what the plant lady told me, I'll have to wake up early in the morning to water. Hmmmm... An early morning feeding... just like a baby. (Watering at night can aggravate the fungus.)
2. I'll also have to carefully measure this liquid medicine for my shrubs, not unlike measuring Tylenol for small sick children.
3. Then, if the medicine does the trick, I'll have to continue to treat the soil for fungus to ensure that it doesn't return. Roughly akin to the 10-day rule for kid antibiotics.
4. If I am able to get one shrub well, but not the others - the cycle may perpetuate itself - unless I can manage to effectively prune the shrubs so that no part of them touch the others. Yeah - passing sickness through your whole home, the only way to stop it is to quarantine everyone and make the password to exit or enter any room: LYSOL.

I simply did not sign up for another needy anything.
Those poor, poor Indian Hawthornes - they didn't get to choose who their Momma is.
Maybe they'll make it, despite of the odds stacked heavily against them.

Brag or bust?

My hunny has been especially thoughtful, considerate, and downright willing to help lately.
I hope that first sentence didn't seem like a back-handed compliment.

I think for the majority of our married life things have engulfed us. We have felt like life had a strangle-hold on us. Unplanned expenses. Babies. Money - or the lack of it. Swamped by work schedule, pressure at work. General selfishness on both of our parts.

I have noticed a definite mellowing lately - A "Let's just help each other out" attitude.
I have been really trying to do little things to make his days easier and to let him know I care about his world outside our home.

He has been offering to bring me drinks.
He made me an omelet today for lunch.
He mowed the lawn on Tuesday.
He *without being asked to do so* took out the trash.
He sometimes gets up in the morning just to spend time with us and help out while we are getting ready for school.
He has been coming to our bedroom every night to tuck me in and kiss me goodnight. (I go to bed earlier than him because I wake up earlier than him on most days.)

These may not seem like giant, life-altering things - but adding them up over the course of a week or so really marks a positive change for us.

I feel like I am part of a winning team or something.
It's amazing how so little effort goes such a very long way when you feel you are in a place of unity.

I will take the little victories over the big ones for now.
Alas, our bathtub runneth over with his unhung laundry...
:0

Please leave tips in jar.

If you have a green thumb, or any success at all really with eliminating stickers and producing that smushy green stuff we sometimes call grass,
Please comment here:

Here's what I have tried:

1. Weed killer.
2. Hours pulling weeds up by the roots.
3. rock. paper. scissors.
4. shoveling large sections of weedy spots.
5. more weed killer.
6. planting grass seed.
7. watching birds eat the seed.
8. flailing my arms wildly and running at the birds.
9. watering.
10. pulling weeds.
11. trudging through muddy spots or jumping from one 3cm grass patch to the next one 6 feet away - Olympic style with a water hose and shovel in tow.
12. a menacing stare at the new stickers/weeds that weren't there yesterday...

What's a girl to do?

Soon.

I drove by my parents' new house four times today.
Essentially stalking it.
I am too excited for words.
Tomorrow.
Neighbors.
If I need a hug, a cup of sugar, or anything really - they are a stone's throw away.
Family dinners. Saturday mornings drinking coffee with my Momma.
Going through 'treasured' items my Papa Bear has spent his whole life collecting, listening to the story attached to each precious one.
I simply cannot wait.
Family is a beautiful thing.
I love my family.

Take a Gander.

Someday they will hate me for this one - but it's darling, isn't it?

These are some of the pictures from our fishing extravaganza.

It was fun - but I am not sure we'll go again with both kids until they are a smidge older.

feelin' mighty proud... and sore.

I have finally finished some of those projects I had planned to do over Spring Break.

• I planted no less than 75 separate plants. Mostly perennials, but some annuals for a touch of color.


• Weeded and fertilized our yard.


• Got my first official sunburn of the sunny seasons. Please refer to aforementioned bullet-point...


• Removed the unwanted or dead landscaping from our yard.


• Took the kids on their first ever fishing trip.


• Spent some time with family.


• Painted my bedroom. I seriously wish I had before and afters. And before and afters. How many colors did I try? Probably at least 5 or 6...


• Began decorating my bedroom. Mostly with stuff I already had - but please pay specific attention to what is on my dresser!! I'm a spoiled brat!!


• Got our bedroom ceiling fan hung, courtesy of my hunny. That marked the removal of the last pink flamingo from our home - sigh... Have I ever told you about the vibrant color choices of the previous owners? heheh I think we found around a dozen different pink flamingos.


• Polyurethaned my dining room table - finally. I had stained it, but never put on the topcoat to protect it. Silly, I know - but I like to live dangerously with two small children. :)


• Hung some shelves. And my bathroom towel bar. Woohoo! Our towels now have a home that IS NOT the floor!


• Got the tile that we will install during the summer ordered.


• Did not suffocate under oppressive amounts of laundry.


• Survived spring break and my to do list.


• Played with my kids and got gruff with them on a few occasions.


• Tweaked lots of little things around the house not really worth mentioning but that made me feel swell.

I feel like I am risking 'persecution' by talking about decorating and keeping my house just the way I like it. Maybe persecution is a strong word, but goodness - I like it better when I can know that the people who are reading my blog are going to use their words constructively and to edify. I am thinking about making my blog private because I don't want to feel like I have to censor what is going on in my world or the telling of it.

(For those of you who are completely confused, I feel I should mention that someone did use some pretty harsh and anonymous criticism toward a good friend of mine because she had expressed a desire to redecorate her bedroom while keeping expenses to a minimum.)

Here are some pictures of my nearly finished bedroom. Please note that the color of the carpet is a point of much dissatisfaction for me. And no, you do not need to adjust the color on your screen... It is strawberry pink.