Forecast: Disappointment

I have thought about this all day as I watched the torrential downpour.
As badly as we needed the rain, I have found myself hating it today.
I watched my lawn turn into soup.
I watched the weather channel and saw them predict rain, rain, rain for the rest of today.
I thought about how many people I have invited to this playdate at my house.
My smallish house.
I began to become very nervous about how in the world we are going to make it work with gravy grass.
Kids in and out. In and out.
I decided I wasn't woman enough for the job.

I have opted to take a rein check on our playdate tomorrow and vow to have one as soon as possible.

You have no idea how I look forward to these things - it wasn't a fun choice to cancel.
I will try to make it up to you by doing your laundry in my spare time or cooking nearly edible meals or pulling weeds - I AM good at pulling weeds...
Many apologies.

living in the moment

plans.
lofty plans.
we make them.
we break them.
we are governed by them.

today, i had plans.
i planned to finally paint our master bedroom in a cohesive way (unlike the 5 random color splotches that now adorn our bedroom walls.)
i was readying the room and setting up things to paint and i walked out of my room and saw something that compelled me to change my plans.

candles lit on the dining room table.
two plates sitting there piled high with freshly grilled steak.
two wine glasses.
and a smiling hunk who orchestrated the whole thing.

in all my life, i have never been afforded this single, most romantic gesture of a candle-lit dinner.
it wasn't spectacular, but it was very 'us' and that made it unforgettable!
the fare? steak and, well, steak. how cute!
the company? the man with whom i have made vows and continue to love through trial and triumph.

today, however, was not a day of triumph.
today was hard - harder than i realized it would be when i woke up this morning.

ever once in a great, great while we are reminded of how fleeting life can be.
how very crucial our every breath is.
today was one of those days.

as we sat there half-mourning the losses of the day and half-pondering our tremendous blessings, one of our biggest blessings walked into the dining room in a rare after-bedtime showing.

it was our son. he was thirsty. i had put him to bed over a hour before. instead of my normal, hard core stance toward waking up after bedtime, i was soft. i fixed him up with a plate of steak and a glass of milk.

we sat there and enjoyed each other's company. no. we savored each other's company.
we truly appreciated each other. loved each other.

a moment or two later, like magic, one of our other biggest blessings joined us for our first ever romantic candle-lit dinner. she woke up groggy, but ready to partake in the late night 'date' we were having.

we sat there as a family, engaged in some of the most important moments we've ever exchanged. my husband and i were so keenly aware of the gift of each moment we have been given.

sometimes tragedies can evoke real substance from a person. when you are forced into a moment of reckoning and you, for the first time in great, great while, learn to appreciate through different, wiser eyes how much you have, you learn what you value and what is important.

tonight was one of those nights.

thanks hunny for the wonderful dinner, for our life together, and for our beautiful children.
we have been blessed beyond measure.
i am so grateful that you are in my life. i know God put us together for a terrific purpose and as each day unravels, i am blessed to share it with you.

i am sorry for the trials you now endure. i wish more than anything that i could make sense out of it for you. for some reason, it is. the best i can do is to help you through it. you are my love, the one given by God and with His help, i will help you. even through times like these.
love, a.

Wednesday at Noon.

Get-together at my house.
Please feel free to bring a lunch, eat before you come, or not - that part is up to you completely!
We will have a good time indoors and out and our kids can play the afternoon away.

If you are not acquainted with my address, you can contact the church office - they can get it to you.

I was hoping that by setting the start time around noon I would miss the majority of naptimes - hope it works for you!

PG.

My son informed me during a wise-beyond-his-years/too-cute-for-words type conversation the other day that he knows some "Bad Words." (Is it permissible to use so many dashes in one sentence?)
My initial gut check reaction was replaced by a strange need to know whether or not he really knew 'bad words.'

I said, "Oh really? So... what types of bad words do you know? It's ok - Mommy won't be upset if you say them just this once. You can tell me anything."

Then he looked up at me and said, "I know 'Shut up' and 'Stupid.'"

My relief was tangible, but I was able to regain my serious composure.

I raised my eyebrows and said, "Oh, J. those ARE awful words."

He hesitantly added, "I also know 'shoot!'"

I then said what any good parent would say, "I am sorry that you know those words but I am glad that you felt like it was ok to tell me about it. And now that I know you know they are wrong, let's not use them, ok?"

I guess in the most real sense of the rating PG, we are doing ok.

Feelers.

I need to put my feelers out to see if there is any interest.

The event in question is a playdate that would occur sometime over Spring Break at my house.
Spring.
Break.
Those words all by themselves really don't carry the same impact as when they are used concurrently.
Just the thought of Spring Break takes me to a better place...
But I digress.

Does anyone with or without young children have any level of interest in having a casual get-together where not much would be required of you except that you show up and get your chat on?

I am absolutely loving that thought.
Comment to your heart's content.

Well wishing

Ever so often, I find myself in one of those moments of motherhood that are completely unexplainable. You're not sure whether the story you're about to tell is funny or scary, or both.
This is one of those stories.

While driving in the car the other day J. began, mediated, and concluded an entire conversation all by himself.
He said, "Momma, can we get a well for our backyard?"
He paused a moment. (I was observing him through my special kiddy mirror.)
He then said, "No, we better not get one. I might be tempted to put my little sister in it. THAT wouldn't be good."
A bit later he added, "I guess we probably shouldn't get a well for our backyard."

Hmmmmm....... Ya think?
(He does have surprisingly great reasoning skills for a 4-year old.)

Arky, arky.

Guess who is having a big, fat birthday, birthday?
It's somebody I miss in the worst way, worst way...

She's fi-nal-ly as old as me, me.

It's la, lolligirl!

(Yes, I may very well be the biggest dork ever -
but if you're still reading this, you can tell that I keep good company!)

I wanted to write a poem but as far as I got was...

Did you ever meet someone without a flaw?
La.
She's so pretty, you just hafta drop your jaw.
La.
She's so generous, she'd give you her own bra...
La.

Anyway, I chose the annoying route because I realize we are in mixed company and THAT poem was going nowhere fast!

Love you, LA!
Happy Birthday to my firstest, bestest mommy friend!

Happiness is having all your little ducks at home, hearing giggles with daddy while you clean up after a good meal, and knowing that this "giggle fest" is going to last for at least another hour or so.
How wonderful!

Goodbye Scraggle-head!

I was at work today and one of the teachers commented on a little girl's hair.

It wasn't A, but I remember thinking earlier today how much that little girl's hair looks like A's.

They said, "Her hair sure does look scraggly and thin. They should cut it and let it grow out again. It would thicken up and look so much better with a bob."

I looked across the fence at my little girl.

Her scraggly, thin, uneven, baby girl hair was blowing through the wind and in her face.

Hint graciously taken. :P

That is when I decided to do this...

Sassy girl!

Jet lag.

On Friday after work, I decided to go out of town with the kids for the weekend.
I hadn't made the trip to Middle-of-Nowhere to visit my grandmother in almost a year.
So I threw some stuff into some bags and off we went.
I didn't call to tell anyone of our plans, so I am sure we look like we're MIA.
Not so.
We're back - just in time to kick it into high gear and start the week all over again.