I, I, I, I, I - The I's have it.

I want so badly to have something to say.
I miss my sister.
I miss my la.
I miss being a stay at home mom.
I guess I'm fighting being bummed out.
That must mean I need to spend some time just crazy praising Jesus.
I'll get right on that.
Could I possibly type the word "I" a few more times in this post?
I have an incurable case of navel gazing tonight.

Silpada.

For any of you who are curious,
I will be hosting a silpada jewelry party for meems tomorrow evening (Tuesday) at my house.
The times are from 5:30pm- 7:00pm.
This is a come and go event.
Childcare will be provided.
You can come sip on hot tea and chat with some friends.
Can't wait to see you!

Uncle and a wire hanger.

Where does one begin?

I have had this day.
I think crystal rubbed her crazy week virus on me!

I went to work this morning, nothing too out of the ordinary.
I went grocery shopping after work, then to a voice lesson.
I grabbed the kids a Happy Meal. (Still vying for that "Mom of the Year" Award)
And proceeded to make a return to one of my favorite stores.
After that, we decided to walk to the other end of the shopping center and look for some cloth napkins and rings for my table.
I got some extremely cute stuff and paid for it.
When I replaced my wallet and grabbed my keys out of my purse,
I realized that there were NO KEYS.
(It would be valuable to note that there is ONE key to my van, which I had come to realize was safely locked in my van.)
I didn't even skip a beat.
We just schlepped our purchases down to the other end of the shopping center where we were parked, er, locked and made a few phone calls.
I thought I would have to call a locksmith, but my husband reminded me of his awesome brother, Jeremy, who is really good at lock-picking.
I called him and he came up to the store within about 30 minutes.
The kids and I sat in the parking lot. Lots of fun....
You have no idea how filthy parking lots are...
Jeremy got there and we strained ourselves for a good 20 minutes. Prying and tugging and shoving long, stick-like objects in through the tiny slot in my door jamb, but no luck.
He drove to the restaurant and got Chris' car and brought it back to me so I could get the kids home and in bed.
(By this point, it was a good bit after their bedtime.)
Then I realized that Chris wouldn't have a way to get home if I took his car and left mine locked up in the other parking lot. He was now afoot.
I was beginning to think about waking the kids up at midnight to go get Chris from work.
Those types of crazy thoughts should never enter a mother's mind.
Jeremy said we should give unlocking the van one last try.
We drove back over to the van.
There were several times that I just knew that window was gonna shatter under the pressure we were putting on it.
But Jeremy was determined and Voila!
It was like magic!! He did it!
Unlocked it with a wire hanger.
I was one happy momma!
Thanks Uncle Jeremy!

We got home and as I got unloaded after the fiasco, I set my purse and my purchases on the dining room floor.
I took two steps and began to barrel-roll toward the kitchen counter.
My feet had gotten wound up in my purse straps.
I could see what was about to happen. I couldn't stop it.
My head slammed into the kitchen counter on the mile-long journey to the floor.
A fitting end to this really irritating evening.

The weekend.

Alright, seriously.
Has this not been the craziest week in history?
Just think, I have 4 friends moving right now.
I have family coming in and out.
Almost everyone I know has been sick at some point in the last week.
Halloween. Thanksgiving. Food, food, food.
Birthdays. Anniversaries. Party after party.
Is there no end?
I am really not stressed out at all.
I'm just stressed out for all the people around me.
You poor, poor people. You know who you are.
Err... Maybe you don't know who you are. There may be too much going on...
If you need anything that I can help with, please don't be shy.
Consider yourself poked and prodded.
Please list any and all desires or needs in the comment section of this post.

Funny thought.

Today I saw my handwriting and was shocked that it did not even remotely resemble my blog font. I have grown so accustomed to seeing 'my writing' in post form, that my own handwriting looks odd.

5 years ago.

Part of me cannot believe that it's been five years.
Most of me, after taking a few steps back to see the broad spectrum, realizes that inside these five short years so much has happened.
SO much, in fact, that it feels more like a lifetime.
In the last five years, we have finished college, gotten married, bought a house, had a baby, dealt with a very sick child, been more broke than we could imagine, oops, had another baby, survived an impossible work schedule, remodeled a house, struggled through our marriage, sold that house, bought a new house, juggled two work schedules, raised two very sweet babies into preschoolers...
I really could go on and on. You know how life comes at you.
But through it all, there was a constant, we had each other.
Our marriage has not been filled with everything either of us ever dreamed of.
It has had a bunch of hiccups along the way.
We have been through more together than, I am sure, we even realize.
But here we are, after 5 years of marriage, by the grace of God, still together.
I ponder into what the future holds and I obviously don't know what is there.
But I can see fragments of it because of the foundation that we now stand on.
I think we are entering a period of time in our lives that is more fruitful than any time that preceded it.
I am excited about what the future holds.
I look forward to what the next five years have to offer us, or rather, what we have to offer the next five years, 10 years, 50...
I feel more equipped than ever to walk through this life with you by my side.
And to love you.
Happy Anniversary, my love.

My babies.

My babies are not babies anymore.
I just peeked into their rooms at their teensy bodies in their beds.
Their teensy bodies are not teensy.
They are not even small by any definition.
They are 'whole bed taking' bodies.

I stood there in the doorway.
Silent. Eyes filled with tears.

As absolutely eager as I am about the days that lie ahead for them, I am equally as forlorn about the days that are no more.

When my kids were really small, I was never confident about mothering.
All I knew was I loved them and I wanted everything for them, but the whole 'nurturing' thing did not come naturally for me.

When I was a little girl, I didn't rock baby dolls in rocking chairs. I tracked down ants, climbed trees, and perfected my long jump.
I never had a nurturing thought.
I remember my daddy asked me once, "What are you gonna be when you grow up?"
I told him, "I don't want kids. I wanna be a successful attorney."
I think I was 8 or 9 at the time.

I never knew how opposite my life would turn out when compared with those "aspirations."
I am so glad I was wrong about what I thought I wanted.

Not even when I was pregnant with J, did I fully understand all the implications of motherhood.
I still don't.
I learn more about myself everyday through my children.
I don't think there's any way I have taught them as much as they have taught me.

I love everything about being a mom.
I love their personalities. Huge blossoming personalities.
I love swishing bubbles in the bathtub for them and seeing the way their eyes light up when the tub is heaping with bubbles.
I love it when they eat something new and love it.
(I made pot stickers for dinner last night. I thought J. would burst from eating pot stickers! He also learned how to eat with chopsticks! There is no adequate way to describe how cute that was...)
I love kissing boo-boo's.
I love brushing hair. Sweet, wavy golden brown hair.
I love smelling them.
Even dirty, stinky boys have a smell that is oh! so sweet when they belong to you.
But girls! Oh my! Girls smell like soft, squishy sweetness all the time.

I love their honest satisfaction over a job well done.
We carved pumpkins tonight. They did a really great job. I didn't notice any flaws in their work and neither did they. Their pumpkins were perfect! And that is the way they will always remember this night... It was perfect! In a moment of pure glee, J. was sawing away at that pumpkin and said, "This is better than any dream I ever had!" All I could think was, 'Me too, son, me too...'

Truly, being able to share those moments with my children is the most rewarding thing I have ever done.
Moments like those take the sting out of fits thrown in public.
They make wild and unruly behavior seem less so.
Those moments turn an ordinary day into something extraordinary.

So as I look at their 'larger than I realized' bodies snugly curled up in their beds, I can weep gentle tears.
I do miss so many things about their baby hood,
but I really haven't missed that much at all.
I have so much today because of them. So many wonderful memories.
I am today so much more myself, because of them.
I see, in them, everything in life that I ever hoped to become - and I am overjoyed.

___s and _____?

I am finished being mysterious about the Halloween costumes.
I had this perfect idea.
Well, perfect for a preschool teacher...
We HAVE to dress up for Halloween.
There is nothing in the form of adult women's costume that doesn't need a garter belt and fishnets as accessories. So trashy. All of them.
So the last couple of years, I have made my costume.
This year, my costume really only made sense with a willing accomplice.
My accomplice is half-bent over a washing machine this week, cleaning puddles of puke off the floor - poor, poor Meems.

So here it is,
I am egg.
? is Bacon.

I made a fried egg outfit, sunny side up.
And I have 2 slices of bacon for whoever feels the need.
Of course, I have no shame - I will be an egg regardless of whether or not anyone is the bacon.
But you all know, bacon and eggs are best when served together.

Bummer.

This is apparently not the first post I have titled "bummer."
It popped up on my auto fill - just a tasty tidbit.

The 'bummer' is that half of my costume will be "missing in action" tomorrow night.
I am sorry that meems' babies have the yucks.
I hate it when that happens.
I really think that we should be allowed to diagnose and write prescriptions for our kids, just to keep them from having to go to the dr.'s office and get a new and more awful bug.

Is there anyone out there, roughly the size of an adult medium T-shirt, that does not already have a costume?
If you want to lose all dignity, and meet the above criteria: please comment here.

I hope to find a new partner in crime.

That's funny.

I just wrote and posted a blog entry that was not really appropriate to speak of in front of just anyone. Particularly if you know of readers that are male...
Oh man!
I am embarrassed!
I am so sorry if you were a guy and you read that.
Otherwise, it was pretty harmless but you'll be left in suspense due to the sensitive nature of the content.