Cowboys are playing. It hurts.
Go ahead. Make your jabs and sneers.
I can take it.
Some game, meems?
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I painted half of my living room tonight. I'm bushed.
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Why is it that when you make the decision to paint a room, you have made a commitment as huge as marriage?
I feel like I'm in, you know? No turning back.
OY!
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I also smeared what looks like kitty litter contents on my bedroom wall.
I was trying out a color. It is not good.
I'll probably take a picture so all of you can say, "yeah, that's bad..."
I am to the "I need help" phase of decorating. I am at a stalemate.
DO NOT TELL MY HUSBAND I JUST SAID THAT.
I'll deny it to my death.
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Weird story from school. Let's just say the ol' thing we always joke about as moms. "I've never met a Kindergartner who wasn't potty trained..."
I have to stop saying that. Maybe I'll say 'college freshman' instead...
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I told my sister that it annoys me to read her blog because I have to scroll down to see if there's anything new. It's like opening a present and the bow gets stuck. Man!
Yes, I know how lazy that sounds...
*
I feel amazing. Almost 100% again. That's saying something.

responses to comments...

Meems - thanks. You're sweet to me.

Sticky - the carpet color can go, not a big fan at all - that was what came with the house...
you should see our bathroom countertops... oooooo - nice...
the bedding is negotiable, the pictures are actually for the bathroom, but I just hung them there b/c there were already nails there, the curtains must stay - I waited too long for them.
It's hard to imagine a finished product with so many variables, but I do see an end in sight...

Seph - yes, I do like the bedding - but a girl is always up for a change in the bedding department.
The wall color has got to go. I think it's hard for me to imagine the yellow as being serene. It's funny, I have enjoyed that color before. It's just not the right color for this bedroom... or in combination with that carpet, which much to my consternation, will be harder to change than the paint color...
There are beginning to be too many parallels in our worlds now. It's getting weird.
My birthday is Nov.7. No wonder we both love autumn so much. It's our season.
but I can only dream about being 25 - it is a distant thought...

Kj - you're too kind. but thanks. I can't wait till it's finished. painted and the right stuff hung on the walls...

crys - I'd say we're much better. I still sound funny and scratchy but the fever's been gone for long enough to say it's safe.
Plus, who knows when we'll all be well at the same time again? :)
We'd love to get together - tax season is closing in on us... dun.. dun...dun...

Jac - yes, the only thing is - I don't take time to enjoy whatever gets done. I just move on to the next major obstacle. Maybe it'll work out to where we can stay at this house a while after the work is done - the last house nearly killed me and then we moved... This one is my dream house, in whatever shape its in...

The albatross aka.curtains...

I've been belly-aching to Chris about how I need help hanging our bedroom curtains for over 5 months now.
I am not good at hanging stuff like that. Overhead arm strength is not my specialty.
Yes, I'm an admitted weakling.
The real point here is, I have not had bedroom curtains - just blinds that are not blind at all.
I could look through our bedroom "blinds" and tell you license plate numbers from cars outside... Needless to say, I got creeped out trying to get dressed in my room, or sleep in my bed.
I wanted my curtains, dang it!

I griped. I tried to bribe. I whined, complained. Set everything out.
Still I could never manage to get it done until tonight.

I still need to paint the room. I first need to decide what color it will be.
I'd also like to set the carpet on fire - there may be a few angles I haven't thought of yet, with regard to arson...
All in all, I am very excited about the way things are finally starting to get done around here.
It does so much for a girl to have her nest all gussied up.

playing house.

I've been hanging out around the corner listening to my kids play house.
It's bringing back so many memories of playing house as a child.
J's "daddy" and A's "mommy."
They are saying the sweetest things to one another.

They are so sweet. They don't even know how much mommy needed to know how she's doing.
Their words are healing because they are repeating the things they've been hearing.
C. and I have been trying REALLY HARD to be nicer, more loving in front of the kids (and well, all the time.)
The things they have been hearing sound so much sweeter from their mouths...

How refreshing to know we're doing a good job loving each other in front of our kids.
An answer to prayer for sure.

still sick.

okay - I am sure that by now you all are getting sick of me talking about being sick.
I, too, am sick of talking about it.
But we have almost come full circle with it.
Now A. has tonsillitis.
I still sound like Catherine Hepburn.
It's kinda sultry if you ask me...
I'd rather have my old voice back though...

Yesterday, I called in sick to some birthday parties. I felt so bad yesterday morning, I thought about going to my parents' house and vegging out all day - but I decided, instead of infecting them with our yuck, to stay here at my house.
To keep the messes to a minimum, we played outside most of the day.
It was really beautiful!
And it's harder to feel sorry for yourself while enjoying a gorgeous day outside!
I am a restless type of person, so I decided to get some stuff done on my sick day.

I trimmed my hedges - with my new hedge trimmers - the Cadillac of all hedge trimmers...
love 'em!
I painted a workbench J. made with my dad to match his awesome new nightstand...
I raked up thousands of acorns, our backyard doesn't have stickers - but stepping on acorns might hurt as bad as stickers.
Repotted my asparagus fern.
Fed and watered all my plants - I bet they're glad for that!

Then we came inside.
I hung a bunch of pictures!
I am so proud!
We have lived here for over 5 months now and I had not yet hung anything!!
The only things on the walls were things I hung on nails that were already there.

I painted some more in the dining room and kitchen and finally covered all the wall paper with paint. You can hardly tell there was ever wall paper there!! Victory!

Anyway, because we still have sickos, we'll duck out of church again today.
Cowboys don't play till tomorrow - so it looks like another work day around the house...

Maybe I'll get my chandelier hung in the dining room...

doi.

doi stands for Disney on Ice.
doi is actually the sound I made (akin to the sound Homer Simpson makes) when I saw $12 snow cones, $16 swords, stinkin' $too many$ dollas...
But I wouldn't take anything for how much fun we had.
It was magical!
Little A's face got more and more beautiful with each new Princess. She was awe-struck (sp-stricken?)
And J. - well I have a confession to make about J.
I spent the afternoon at Shamrock clinic with him. He had high fever all night long, and by the time we got to the clinic, it was back up to 103.
Poor baby!
I must say, normally, I would not have taken him into public - but after talking to the dr. and considering the 90 bucks we spent on tickets - I decided to keep him quarantined - NOOOO!
I took him to doi.
Sorry town of SA -but I figure, somehow we got sick from YOU, so here's the gift that keeps giving...
I am so sick of being sick.

Back to tonight, doi.
It was really incredible! If you do not have tickets already but could somehow go - you should!
I think I would have loved it even without children...
Good stuff.
I'd smuggle in cheap snacks though...

I'm going to bed.
I'll try to post more once the awful incredible sickness leaves our home.
At this point, I feel like fever and puss-pockets on the backs of throats is the norm.
Please Lord, help my baby and me get better quick.
And Help this momma get some rest...

This day.

my kids fight.
nonstop bickering.
i thought my head would spin off freakshow style if i had to hear them argue one more time...
thank God for 7:30.
i do love to be with them - but i like it best when they're sweet to one another.

i swore i wouldn't blog about this...
la even accused me of doing it so that i would have something interesting to blog about - i wish that was the case. i am just really, really a circus act.
today, in a moment of 'momma-protector-instinct-induced' hysteria, i licked a battery that had been rolled all over my precious baby's face to see if the liquid oozing out of it was, in fact, battery acid. it was. my tongue still burns. the kid's face seems to be unscathed. my tongue is very, very acid burned. don't ever lick a battery. i don't care what reason you may think you have - there must be a better way...

my husband works at 2pm on tuesdays - i don't get off work until 2pm on tuesdays. there's always this weird overlap of childcare for my daughter (who stays with daddy on tues./thurs.)
so my boss suggested that my husband start bringing A. up to my work on tues after lunch and i can watch her along with the other preschoolers.
it's been working out great, except for one rather superficial aspect on my part.
my boss looked out over the playground today and pointed to a child and said, "who's that?"
it was my daughter. she was brought to me today with fraggle rock hair, a snot-encrusted face, a raggedy t-shirt, and her BROTHER'S shorts on.
it was very funny. very my hunny.
i love my husband - he's really good at so many things - but even he will attest to his weakness where dressing the kids is concerned. he is absolutely horrible at it, to the point of hilarious.

The schpeel.

My husband's uncle - my uncle in law?? - invited us to a football game with the family!!

If for some reason the Cowboys were ever knocked out of contention for the playoffs
(yeah, right) or on their by-week - I cheer for the Green Bay Packers.
The Cowboys are having such a kick-tail season that I hadn't given much thought to the Packers.
But, as it turns out, they are having a record setting season of their own.
And right now, I am about the happiest person ever because the game that we were invited to go to with C's uncle John to is Cowboys vs. Packers!!

What could be better?
My two favorite NFL teams, each having stand-out seasons, for my VERY FIRST in person NFL game!!!
I am stoked!!

See? I told you that you would be annoyed...

Holding Back.

If you did not hear my shrieks of excitement, you soon will...

Something wonderful is in the works.
Something I have been waiting for.
A long time coming, I'll say.
It's almost certainly not what you're thinking.
But a huge deal to me, nonetheless.

ok - your suspense is totally awesome.
I'll come back to this later.
You're going to be mega-disappointed...
I, on the other hand, will be in hog heaven!!

What's going on here?

When I found out I was going to be a mommy, I went from being super-independent straight back to my momma's breast.
Well, maybe it wasn't that bad, but still. I don't think I changed a diaper that I didn't first consult her about it. My mom filled the role of mother, nanny, doctor, pastor, best friend, and pretty much whatever else I needed. She's my hero. I was so very, very attached to her (and my dad) that I eventually stopped running to God when I needed something. I ran directly to my parents. How draining that must have been! It must have been like having a newborn all over again...

I was also completely dependent on my sister for female friendship.
I hung out with her as often as she would come over to my house, taking up as much of her social time as she would give me. I became demanding of her. I required her to call me everyday, because we were dating... hehehe But seriously, I gravitated to her so strongly that I saw no need for other friendships, save a few.

I then saw a need in my life for a mommy friend. A friend that also had children so my children could have friends. There was this incredible girl at church, but I had trust issues.
I finally broke down and let myself be myself around her, and she still called me.
I was shocked! And we became best mommy friends!

I had my perfect circle!
What had been broken through years of selfishness had been mended with my parents and my sister and brother.
I also had allowed myself to have one other friend outside my family.
I had really branched out!

I began to focus all my effort on my little family, and the exhausted few others that were a part of my life.
I got so attached to these precious few that God was not really a source for me anymore.
Although relationships with God's children are important, He still wanted to commune with ME!

About 3-4 months after my daughter was born, God moved my parents away from me. Not too far. Just far enough that I could not run to them for every little thing. I had to begin to put my trust in God. And to trust that I was capable of making a decision without first calling Momma.

A little over a year ago, my sister was called away from here so that she could become all the things that God has called her to be. Leaving me to make my own friends at church, not just being absorbed into her peer group. It also forced me to come out of my coma of untrust.
I had to trust God for people, trustworthy people, to enter my life. God had to draw her away so I could draw near to Him.

Now my best mommy friend is leaving.
I know that the road ahead of her is one filled with the stuff that most of us only dream about someday doing for God. Her plate has always been so beautifully full - and with a fourth dream-bucket on the way, it is sure to get more full!
I have really concentrated my friendship (and my numerous needs) in her direction this past year and she has been so gracious to bear it. But it was never her burden to bear, I need to learn to give it to God. And soon she will be gone - leaving me again to trust God...

Though it seems I'll never wise up, I am beginning to see the pattern here.

I am not saying that this is some grand scheme or scandal, but it does seem that every time I put too much of my emotional 'stock' into someone - they end up trading up and moving away.

I just hope that the friendships I am developing with so many of you, some who are moving and others who are staying put for a while - will help me not pour too many of my eggs into your basket - I want to put my eggs into God's basket.
I have repeatedly allowed myself to become too dependent on the people around me to fill God-sized shoes.
I am really trying to do better, and with your help, I will...

But for now, I just wish that everyone I am close to could stick around for a while... ;)